Hoover 5: Part 2
Sections:
- The Updates & Intro
- He Came Back
- What I Suspect & What I Expect
- Nearly 100 Texts
- It's Alright D.B.
*Update 7/20* -He responded like a gentleman. So that was very nice..If he can try, then so can I. I'll continue expecting the worst so I can protect my mind some and feel safer..I'm choosing to speak with him, so I have no excuse to hate him when it blows up in my face.-When he runs off, I will forgive him and go about my business.
*Update 7/21* Now another day has passed, and it’s suddenly feeling just like the past. Oh well. It figures.
*Update 7/22* He blocked me when I told him exactly how I felt, and he had a chance to prove himself. He proved to me that if I attempt to believe in him, give him another chance and I demand to be treated correctly(AKA, tried to enforce reasonable boundaries. such as: not being ignored simply because he's in a bad mood/ not being ghosted/ not being treated like I don't matter or exist) he will run, every time. If I am in need, if I am less than my positive, sturdy, self-sacrificing, suffering in silence self-he's out. If I make a mistake, or even if he makes a mistake and I don't handle it how he wants me to-he's out, no matter how long-suffering I have always been or am willing to be.
At least it is over with now..At least I can stop waiting around with my fingers crossed on the off chance he’s actually trying. He's forgiven, and I'm in a decent place.🖤
I gave all my effort, provided open communication and ample opportunity for him to do the right thing, but he failed to do so. He denied me all communication because HE wasn't up for it, or because he was playing mind games. Either way, I was at his mercy to discuss things and to interact with him or even to merely be acknowledged. He had full control again, and apparently maintaining that control still took top priority. HIS WAY, OR NO WAY AT ALL. He refused to give back. He refused conversation. He refused to do anything that required 'too much' effort.
He didn’t want to talk, so we didn’t. He chose for both of us. He decided. He set the rules and guidelines. He chose the outline of our relationship, and if I disagreed or tried to stand up for my feelings, wants and needs that just so happened not to fall within the guidelines HE chose for me..or if I failed to comply with whichever rules suited the type of day HE was having..It was like I violated some invisible contract, so he had no choice but to back out on what I never actually agreed to. All the standards I held him to, they were all the basic things we had previously discussed. There has to be conversation and mutual understanding to have terms or ‘stipulations’ exist between two people. I told him where I stood, what I wanted, needed, feared and felt in all honesty- and he HATED it. I reacted strongly to being neglected and ignored. I spoke my mind and took up for myself.
And he reacted to my reaction by doing whatever was easiest for himself...just like what he was doing before I spoke up and reacted.
**If I had not reacted, he likely would have eventually spoken to me as usual and explained away the bad behavior and his absence. That’s what he always used to do. But I would have had to suffer quietly, be unhappy and confused just waiting for when HE felt like participating in ‘us’ again..just waiting for the hell to end for who knows how many days or weeks he chose to stay unavailable..
I always had to only behave and exist in whichever way was least challenging for HIM based on whatever mood or type of day he was having. No matter how miserable and challenging it was for ME.
**If I keep quiet, I can keep him around longer and suffer waiting for the relief of finally being briefly seen and cared for(followed by getting shut out again shortly afterwards).
**But if I speak up for myself/ attempt to resolve the tension and issues his neglect and selfishness is creating—HE RUNS. (Denying the opportunity for us to solve problems, strengthen our relationship...or to at least have healthy closure)
He sets it up so that it is impossible for me to ‘win’ with him, regardless of which approach I take. But he gets what he wants, one way or another..No matter if it is through denial, or if it is through devaluing me so he can convince himself he is better off without. He makes sure he gets what he wants. What I want and feel is a burden he doesn’t have time for. He doesn’t ‘have to put up with it’
This time around I was, once again, willing to forgive all, discuss all, apologize/admit fault, build on things, work together..and he was only willing to do what he wanted and what he thought was acceptable. His way, his unfair standards..or you are out- He had recently responded in a way that made me think..'maybe he IS trying' but then he carried on with ignoring me, and that little Band-Aid his small positive response had provided no longer sufficed.
Consistency is needed to trust in the security of any relationship. When you are consistently hurt and let down, that is what you expect will keep happening. When you have to go against your instincts, your wants, and your past experiences in order stand by someone who is failing to show you a new, more productive pattern is emerging..then all you have to go on is the past and their complete failure to show you hope for a better future in the present. I was being shown no proof, feeling no support or consideration, yet was expected to act like I had full faith in all he had said was true the few times we did speak..You can't just say it is ok and expect someone you have only ever shown the opposite to to believe it for long without them living through anything with you to support such claims.
My hope is not enough when it is only being fueled by a few of his rare, lovely words and my own wants instead of the reality of how I am being treated. BIG beautiful talk from him is small if there are never any actions to back it up. I needed the real deal. Actual consideration, effort, fairness, give AND take, communication and forgiveness for errors.
I knew it was not a wise choice to expect better from him, but saying goodbye to someone you love, no matter how toxic they have been, it is never easy. It is always confusing, scary and painful. Abuse cycles are addictive, and love is almost impossible to let go of...when you're up against both at the same time..I am sure most of you can relate to how easy it is to get pulled right back in and right back down. But thankfully, I am not feeling down today. I got this.
He may think he 'won’, but losing me means he most definitely lost.
Dear D.B.—
Good luck sir. I am sorry you choose to love the way that you do. I appreciate the time I had with you, no matter how much hell I’ve paid for it. I've learned, grown and loved. Thank you. I'm sorry this experience failed to do the same beneficial things for your personal growth as it did for mine. I tried with all I had to be there for you. I tired my best to tough it out and to see the good in you despite the bad which has harmed me. Yet, regardless of my unconditional love and determination, you still chose to do what you’ve always done. I wish you nothing but the best. I hope you find a way to appreciate and hold onto the next person who loves you with all they have. More importantly, I hope you are able to manage to love them back without breaking them apart the way you did to me. At least I have been resilient enough to get myself back together.
I will never stop being myself again, not for you or anybody else. I love myself exactly as is. You failed to cherish me for who I am, no matter how obvious I made it that I love all of you. You failed to stand by your word and commit to anything other than your own misery. You failed to try to see things from my point of view, and you failed to share your own so I could attempt to understand your side of things too.
You failed to be strong for me, but succeeded at expecting and only tolerating me at my strongest. You failed me. Don't come back.
He Came Back
He came to pick me up late Sunday evening. We hung out for a few hours. The night went pretty well, ok that’s a lie..it actually went really well, because I always love to see him and hear him talk about how he's doing. I had missed his face. I felt blissful as I held his hand while leaning my head against his. It was surreal. Even with all of my anxiety and hypersensitivity, I felt comfortable being next to him again. I wanted to stay there. Listening to his music was a fun bonus! Love his taste in music. It was a good time. The worst part about seeing him, is each time I do I have to remind myself that it is likely the last time I ever will. So when he is next to me I always stare at him intensely, soaking in the moment I know will never last.
As I was getting out of his Jeep to head into my house, he asked me to text him when I got back inside and had my phone (I had let my son borrow it) So, when I got inside I texted him “I made it allllll the way back home safely.” He responded to that text the next day around noon. His response was “Nice” And that was all the communication we had all day, until I reached out after 9pm asking if he was alright. He said ‘I’m ok. Just sitting watching some HK and having a relaxing day. Wbu?’ I told him I was glad he had gotten to relax and that my day was good. He responded back “:)” And that is all the communication we’ve had since he saw me Sunday night, it is now Tuesday evening. I did like the smiley face he sent, but still..the complete silence was just..too familiar. If he isn’t up for talking, letting me know would be cool, instead of leaving me there scratching my head! lol. Plus, what I want also matters. How about us meeting in the middle? ;)
This surprisingly does not have me freaked out or reaching out to him to figure out why he suddenly isn’t saying good morning and goodnight or wishing me a good day. No, instead it is exactly what I expected was going to happen. I have lowered my expectations to protect my heart and mind as much as possible, given the choice I’ve made to maintain contact. I have to expect the worst so I can avoid falling apart again. So, I expected mind games, or at least a good bit of neglect.If we didn’t have our history it still would’ve made me uncomfortable because it displays the man having ZERO interest in you..Ya know?
I have not handed over my trust and hope again. At least I know better than to do that much. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about him, that just means I’m learning to care just as much about myself too. ❤️I have to prepare myself for being played, hurt and ditched. That’s why assumed he had the worst of intentions when he reached back out, that way I couldn’t get tricked and hurt as badly..even though I’m still choosing to keep open communication. At least I am doing something to protect my mind from most of misery I usually experience when I’m involved with him. I refuse to trust or feel hope any time soon. I don’t hate him, nor do I wish to insult him if he is truly making even the slightest effort for positive change. If he is, good for him! I want him to, because I want him to be happy..or at least ok. I believe if he wanted to improve aspects of himself, he could. But that doesn’t mean I am going to be foolish enough to count on that happening. Letting myself hope, has only been making me feel like I’ve let myself down.
I am not making the best choices lately,..BUT I am proud of the positive choices and clear thinking I am able to do right now..because in the past when he came back I never could function nearly as well as I am today..even if it isn’t optimal, it is a big improvement and I am hella proud of myself. ☺️ AND, I am also not bothering him, because I don’t want to hinder any progress he may be making (if he’s actually trying to grow) So..good for me! 💪🏻 I’m not crying, my heart is not racing, I don’t feel livid or even rejected. I’m lonely, that’s about it..and I am thinking a lot. :P My thoughts when he fell silent were something like this-‘Oh, he doesn’t want to chat or care about my day. Alright. Nothing new. Boo...’
What I Suspect, &
What I Expect
Written 7/20/2021
What I Suspect
Paranoia has its perks! Plus, being suspicious may bot be fully paranoid..especially if your suspicions have turned out to be pretty accurate in the past.When I first saw his text late Saturday, after a week of no contact, I was glad to hear from him. I still care about him and enjoy his company. Still..I felt that same type relief from the past when I used to always be waiting for the silent treatment to end. I was thrilled to hear from him. I was not angry. But I immediately suspected he had negative intentions and wasn’t being truthful. Trusting him would be very stupid of me at this point, after everything. If he wants my trust, he will earn over time..like it should have been done to begin with.💔
OR..He really means it, and wants to try..but he will hate me and run off as soon as I require effort or doubt him due to the past I'm still recovering from..He will just devalue me, treat me badly, and break my heart again. I’m going to get hurt.
But, at least I didn’t expect better! :) See..there’s a method to my madness lol.
I sadly expect that he’ll simply ignore me until I snap. Or if I don’t snap, he’ll come back around and get me more interested/invested in ‘us’, just so he can then ignore me again afterwards and I will finally be bothered by it enough to actually react this time around. Womp womp. Well, if I get ignored much longer, I’ll just go bow out no matter how much love there is, because a man who makes it clear he doesn’t want me or care about what I want, isn’t worth the misery of having to beg for him all the time. I always thought he was worth everything. But you know what..so am I. :) If he meant it when he said he wanted healthier/ normal communication..then he needs to talk to me. My past experiences with him have taught me that approaching him with my desire to talk never ends well. Actually..no matter what it never ends well. Yet here I am. lol
So..Well..I caved in at 7:40 and sent him this:
If you're just ghosting me I will figure it out. That's what it feels like. I will stop texting now and hope I am wrong. If I'm not wrong, just know that I love you..but what I want and need matters just as much as what you want and need. You may be in a bad mood and not want to talk..but I do. Not hearing from you at all today, or much at all yesterday was unpleasant. You said you wanted me to get more say In things..well..I don't want to be at your mercy for when we interact. That's unfair. I will not continue talking to myself..nor will I feel ashamed for my emotions. You know not speaking to me for 2 days after we saw each other is kinda cold. Your day may suck, but what about mine? I'm not begging for you. This is me trying, you can either try back and give back, or not. That's on you handsome. Later-
*7/20 Update*
-He responded like a gentleman. So that was very nice..If he can try, then I so can I. I'll continue expecting the worst so I can protect my mind some and feel safer..I'm choosing to speak with him, so I have no excuse to hate him when it blows up in my face.When he runs off, I will forgive him and go about my business.
The Usual;
Nearly 100 Texts
Yes, I blew up his phone and spewed out all of my frustration. Enjoy me losing my sh*t. ;) It happens anytime he gaslights and/or stonewalls. He knows that, but then chooses to ignore me anyway. My bad. :/
(Sent between 9pm 7/21 and 11 am 7/22)
Recovering from abuse, and getting over such a strong attachment is extremely difficult. Enjoy the entertainment. Such drama, caused by such provocation. Oh snap! lol. My love for him may make me a bit stupid at times, but at least I’m starting to see patterns more clearly. Especially in regards to my tiggers and shortcomings & his avoidance and mind f*ckery. I know I need to find better ways to express my outrage over being mistreated. I will figure it out. 😎
My texts and writings to him were NEVER this defiant or hostile while we were in a relationship—It took the main discard on his birthday, followed by numerous hoovers to get me this frustrated, mistrusting, and ‘mean’.
Are you still there? Can you call or something?
I'm trying, but I have no idea what's going on because there's no communication.
You still don't want to make time for me?
I deserve for you to make time for me. I will not ask anymore. Once again, I am trying. But all this silence makes me feel you are just ghosting me on purpose to. It's not a good feeling. At least I warned you when I was going to stop talking.
Please stop coming back if you don't want me, or if your bad moods will continue to take priority deserve communication and your time sir.
Fine. I will take a break then. I'm NOT blocking you. But this is bull crap. You saw me, but you have basically not spoken to me at all since seeing me Sunday night...Wednesday is almost over. You make time for things and people you care about.. no matter how bad of a day you're having or how bad of a mood you’re in..because some people are more important than your mood. You put in effort for people you care about, even when you don't feel like it...Because it is about more than just you. It's supposed to be about both of us..not just about 'you' and only about 'me' too when you feel like it. I love you, but this neglect is not cool. It's not cool at all.If you just came back to hurt me and get reactions..this is the biggest one you'll get. It is called self respect. Treat me right, or leave and don't come back.You did this crap all the time even when you were smoking. So I know that isn't it.
I'm lovable and love you. What's your problem? K. Let me try to call once so you can ignore it. Like always. You have my feelings hurt. I'm not blocking you. But I'm just going to go get happy again some how this evening. God knows you never call when I ask you to. I don't get why you can't just be kind and talk to me like I matter. I DO matter. I'm just pissed and hurt that your actions make me feel like I never ever have or will matter to you. Your loss.I can also see how many hits each individual page gets on my webpage. So I know you know about stonewalling sir. Not cool to ghost someone, ignore..silence..block out. It's not cool at all. 💔Make time for me. If not, free my time for someone else who will.
Stop leading me on if you don't care about me.*Enjoy your voicemail. You can hear my voice shaking and poke fun at me for being upset. If that's seriously all you wanted. I love you. I'm going drink wine and chill. You can be such a butthole.
Are you just going to ignore me and act like my reaction to getting treated poorly the problem? :( Then poke fun at it later like I am the one who has something to be ashamed of? I don't like that.Please stop being selfish. Please call. You know full well you don't deserve me begging for you. But here I am.
I thought when you responded last night, that it was a little bit of reason for me to hope. But nah. You just want to act like I don't exist for days, but I'm sure you'll easily shame me for being hurt by it. Fine babe. Be that way.I deserve better than this. Provide better, or goIf that is ‘too challenging', also go. I love you. But I'm a f**king person. Treat me like one.I suppose nobody is worthy of your time and effort? Or do I simply fall short by being funny, pretty, forgiving and patient..considering it has taken me this long to boldly call you out in your sh*t??Do you just want to push me away so you can remain as miserable as possible??You bring much negativity to my life. You going to stop that anytime soon?
My fears were probably right. You’re just messing with me. Fine you lucky bastard. You got my time & I still care about you. Good work! Now how about you make a good choice instead of screwing everything between us up?
I'm out. I love the hell out of you. But I refuse to be ignored and never prioritized above YOUR moods. You should have made time for me. If you want to be 'friends' ..fine I guess, maybe. But I'm pretty pissed and hurt right now at the fact that I love you and yet you have taken another chance given and failed to talk to me as usual. You still put yourself first and made ZERO time for me.
If you want me, act like itHow you ever going to make time to raise a kid if you can't make time to call and text someone? Seriously babe. Or was that dream of yours just a lie to get me more attached??You don't have to play games, I already love you, you jackass.
Stop blowing chances you know you no longer deserve. I keep giving chances. That's my fault. But you are the one blowing them 🤦🏻♀️💔 Stahaaapppppp.
If all you wanted was a reaction enjoy. I mean, who wants a good woman and love when they can get hard to chaos? Lol. Ok that was funny.
I imagined it all didnt I? In your Jeep. The 'connection' during the kissing and holding hands? That was all one sided..wasn't it?
You’re gonna feel stupid a decade form now when I'm happy and you’re just angry and running around breaking hearts for no reason. Stop being a butt D___. I love you you just ignore me like a frat boy who is too cool for 'b*tches’
I'm triggered. And you're being a jerk. :) that is all.. Learn to make time for people you should appreciate having around. K? Later---I'm so mad and sad and just ugh why do you have to be such a selfish ass !?I'm in love with Lucifer 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Kidding..I don't think you're the devil. But your lack of consideration for me is messed up.
And if you make one more joke or jab about me talking to myself, I swear sir.. I talk to myself because you ignore and neglect me like an as*hole.'Nailed it'
Predictions:
1) you stonewall until I get the picture and run away
2) you stonewall until I'm done losing my sh*t so you can then shame me and blame me for reacting to you being a selfish butthole..
3) you ignore me then lash out making sure you say what you feel will hurt me most and then you abandon me again.. or
4) pigs fly and other miracles take place as you own you're mistake and actually call to show you do give a sh*t about me.I shall wait and see what fun you have in store for me. Lol. Cannot wait to see which version of mean I will get this time around! I mean, it is time for you to bail, is it not? Why else would you ignore me for three days like I don't matter on days you’re not in the mood to talk to me. I matter more than your mood D——-! I'm worth the 'trouble' but do you truly grasp that by now? Or will you just say 'f**k it' as you ditch another endeavor for a better life?
Why do I love you? Haha I have a lot of reasons. But why don't you love me? I thought you were smart sirOne day you're going to come back and it's going to be too late..and you might possibly realize and be able to admit-you f**ked up
Goodnight D—-. I am sorry that you have been too lame to talk to me. ❤️ Just like old times😊💕 I love you.. but sometimes you suck :)I don't understand why you think it is alright to ignore me. You know it is hurtful..I love you. But clearly, you don't love me. You've treated me like I don't exist since seeing me on Sunday night. I understand you have your own stuff going on and your own issues, but you make time for people you love. Ignoring me until you are in the mood to talk is horrible. I am not a convenience, I am a person. I deserve better than this. If this was all a sick game congrats, but you lose..because you've lost me. I care about you and was willing to try..but I am not trying all alone again. All this experience has me trusting you even less. I wanted you. But I want to be loved correctly even more..it seems you're incapable of that.
I will not be made to feel guilty for needing my existence acknowledged. I refuse to be ashamed for talking 'to myself' / 'at you' when the only reason I do it is because you refuse to be present and talk to me. If you truly meant some of what you claimed to feel for me, then this is unfortunate..but maybe realizing that there are consequences to treating people poorly is something you need to learn. Denying me communication because of what YOU have going on or because YOU aren't in the mood for talking is the most selfish thing ever. It is hurtful D—. I'm tired of being hurt by you, apparently you are not done causing pain though. You're fine with it. Goodbye handsome. What a waste of all the care I have for you. You've made your choice by ignoring me. You've chosen yourself.
Never mind.I sent 'Never mind' a few minutes later when I decided I regretted some of what I said, and that I wasn’t ready to give up on him.
Then I followed up with this:
You are loved. I deserve to be loved too. Please, don't talk to me again unless you are ready to treat me right. And by then, it may be too late because I'm not holding the place for you anymore. When I go back to school or work, if I meet some man who actually wants to talk to me, know me and not treat me like crap..I'm not going to reject that for the chance to one day possibly be with the man who has only ever rejected me. I deserve your time, but you only give it to me when you feel like it. That's not how relationships of any type work. It's about two people, not just one. I'm not just here for when YOU feel up for it. I'm always here, and deserve to be treated like I exist even when you don't want to talk. I love you, but one-sided love is not enough. Love me back, or let me go.
Do you feel anything? Or are you just picking with me out of boredom?Never mind. I'll figure it out in my own.20 days is record 😊 Congratulations lol.Then he blocked me, but I didn’t realize it until I saw this last text failed to go through:
It's Alright D.B.
Every time I think I am starting to see or understand a part of you, that part disappears. You push me away until I push back, and then you leave. I wish things would turn out differently. I wish you had meant all the good things you said. I wish who I keep feeling you are would make more frequent reappearances. I’m sorry if you feel disappointed, but I was still there. I’m here. You chose to block me out and avoid calling to talk things through...and you have the right to do that.You knew what I wanted. Unfortunately I’ve never been able to figure out what it is you truly want. You’ve shown me so many times that you don’t want me, but you’ve also said to me many times that you do. It’s too confusing. I’ll never know anything about what you really want or feel towards me..but I know exactly how I feel about you. You know how I feel too, but you act like it means nothing..like it’s worth nothing. What a shame, and what a waste of such a beautiful thing.
If you were doing the honorable thing and letting me go because you couldn’t provide, then you would have said goodbye to me. You didn’t, you just left without a word and blocked me-like I was nothing. Which took no care and no effort. You avoided me, and took the easy, selfish way out. I forgive you. I already knew I was settling for less than what I deserve by being with someone who doesn’t love me back or stick around. I’m done begging for you to treat me right.
I’m sorry you want to spend your life running away from what you were chasing each time you manage to catch it. I hope one day you get some rest. I hope you can eventually stop harming others, and stop harming yourself. You already know how much I care about you. Telling you and showing you simply did no good..but at least you know. You never let me know you loved me, you never showed me. Apparently, that’s because you never did love me. I’ve accepted this already, so my world has not been turned upside down this time. Sure, there’s a little heartache, but you’ve already shattered my heart a few times before..So, I’m good. Bye babe. I hope you choosing to turn your back on me will get you whatever it is you’re after. I love you, but I deserve to be loved too.
On a different note—
Your heartless, yet predictable, abandonment only set me back 24 hours during part two of this ‘hoover’ as well..This crud used to ruin me for several weeks or months. So once again I must say, BOOYAH! 🔥😘💃🏻 Losing a man who fails to appreciate me or treat me right will no longer feel like the end of the world-because it isn’t.
The massive amount of love I have for you does NOT make it acceptable for you to treat me like I don’t count for anything. Nope. I’m more than worth your time, but you gave me none of it. I can’t change how much you simply don’t care. You made the wrong choice by choosing to never be there. You always make the wrong choice when you leave, and I always make the wrong choice when I take you back just so you can do it again.
You always leave when I ‘challenge’ you. You find me holding you accountable and expecting to be treated right to be ‘too challenging’, and then you run off acting like it was I who wronged you because I’ve stopped tolerating being wronged. I adore you sweetheart, but no. I’m not deleting myself and my needs because you cannot handle(or refuse to try) being a solid partner. I am always willing to hang on, work through any issue, compromise..But you are only ever willing to take off as soon as I make it clear that I require your time and effort. I refuse to settle for less, and I’m not sorry for making that abundantly clear.
At least I took the time to speak to you, share where I stood, and acknowledge you existed. I treated you like you were a person worth fighting for, even when I was being extremely rude. I still gave you my time. I still treated you like you mattered, and like I wanted to hear what you thought and what you had to say. I actually begged to hear form you. You vanished like what I said, felt and wanted didn’t matter. You ignored me for days, like I didn’t matter. You ran off and blocked me from your life again, like I was nothing. You gave up on ‘us’ the moment it became difficult for you, like ‘we’ were nothing.
I may be nothing to you, but you will never be viewed as less than a worthwhile person by me. Even when I think or know you‘ve done wrong, you still are more than your mistakes to me. I see more to you than what you can and cannot provide. I see a person worth trying to understand. I wish the feeling was mutual, and that my ability to forgive wouldn’t keep getting me screwed over. I’m still learning.
I’m used to this, so I’m alright. How about you??💕
D.B.,
One day you'll be blocked out too, but it won't be due to my lack of care. It'll be because you‘ve given me no other choice, by refusing to be there. A person can only take so much rejection, inconsideration, and abandonment before they shut out the source. I always give you my all and try my best, just to then be rewarded with an ugly reminder that it’ll never be enough to make you invest. I was weak around your birthday, because of the immense pain that day brings. I was vulnerable, and so I opened the door and my heart to you again..But baby, I'm about to come to my senses. You are rapidly approaching the door once more being slammed shut and deadbolted with the might of all my defenses. The difference is that once I close it this time around, I won't be opening it again, and you’ll have lost the only good you have likely ever found. You doing so may work in my favor in the long-run, but I assure you, it will not work in yours. I apologize for making most of this rhyme and using the cliché of opening and closing doors. 😉 I’ve given you so many chances to make things right, but all you do is prove that having faith in you is wrong. You come back after I’ve fought tirelessly to recover, and immediately bail the moment I need you to prove I’m not the only one who has love for the other. You are the worst. You bring nothing worthwhile to this world. Do not speak to me again.