Written: 11/2020
Posted: 03/28/2021 

Sections

• In All Seriousness- It's Sad
• An Abuser's Perspective

In All Seriousness-It's Sad

If someone doesn't value integrity and true intimacy you cannot change that..nor truly work with it. Highly narcissistic types are obsessed with avoiding anything that threatens their sense of security. Otherwise, they'd let people close enough to know them, instead of allowing absolutely no depth to any of their relationships.
 

They must control the distance between themselves and others.
 

Everything has to be in proper placement in relation to him, so that he can fit precisely where he believes his position is fixed.
 

Controlling everything is their security..and somehow people are reduced to becoming a part of all the other 'things' which must be kept in order to maintain their version of a safety.
 

In their minds being able to force others into submission keeps threats to a minimum, and validates their own superior strength and worth simultaneously.
 

If they insure the threat level presented by those around them is low they feel powerful enough to handle anything unpleasant that may pop up.. In doing so they have made it so that they can now feel like an indestructible badass. That is what they need.
 

They need to be completely untouchable, unmovable, and unfeeling.
 

To feel, waver, or give is seen as bending to the will of others.. I suppose they take that to mean that THEY would be submitting, which is something they simply cannot do. They think it would make them 'lose'.
 

Conceding to anything or anyone would throw their strict, yet fragile, guidelines into disarray. 

If their outline of how things 'should be' is not followed perfectly it destroys their form of balance.
 

Sadly their 'balance' which they achieve through their disconnected and cruel ways is actually far from balanced in reality. It is complete chaos..

 

They create chaos all around them as they try to maintain what feels like their version of harmony/ proper world order. It is actually quite sad.
 

They think they are simply highly competitive and must win..and they are..But why? It is the reasoning that is heartbreaking. Reasons they will almost all deny and hate the one defying them by stating it as fact..
 

They must win, they must control, they must not care or connect, they must destroy, self-sabotage, and hate.. They are driven to do all of this by such an inconsolable rage which is fueled by the very human need to feel safe.. However, in this case it is much worse because that pride will not allow this truth to be true.
 

They instead will say they don't need to feel safe, or feel much of anything else at all, because they can take on anything, defeat anything, and best anyone. They must.

They have to wholeheartedly believe they cannot be harmed, because deep down they have already been harmed beyond repair (99.9% of the time).

 

No amount of sorrow, understanding, or unconditional love will wake them up or drag them out of the hell in which they'll likely always live. It is a tragedy, but all you can do is know, care, and accept this person is not you..They are barely there.
 

You cannot help them, save them, or be seen by them..They can't even really see themselves.
 

The trap the narcissist's pride sets for both you and for themselves, is the lie that the problem and cause of all the chaos cannot be from within, it has to solely be in response to YOU or something that's been done to them.
 

Maybe it is their fault, maybe it isn't. Perhaps they are pure evil, or perhaps they are just spinning out of control without the tools or awareness to slow down.
 

They might want you to disappear, or they might just want the 'threat' you bring to no longer exist.
 

I feel that many of them cannot see past the danger you are to their sense of security to ever be able to truly see you. They'd have to step down from up high and put their unnecessary weapons (like pride, rage, and avoidance) down to see who and what is really there in front of them.
 

They have become their fear and their anger. Who they are never finished learning and strengthening- They were too busy building up the hostile defenses they felt they needed to survive to ever build themselves and become someone fully alive.
 

This is why they prefer to be alone. Majority of human beings cannot be 100% contained as a narcissist will see fit. Someone with such hostile, unmovable defenses cannot allow any wiggle room... That’s why when you refuse to fit inside those very impossible and painful confines of their standards they crush or delete you. You don't 'fit'..
you mess up their order..
 

They NEED order. That's all their disrespectful control is. It is their way to keep their personal world from turning upside down. Sadly, to do so they tear apart everyone else's without a second thought. Unless the thought gets them off.
 

They want no mental, emotional, and meaningful closeness with anyone.
 

It is them versus the world, instead of them being in and a part of it.
 

They don't want to be truly seen, they only want to be what they feel they must be. If they don't fit their own impossible standards for themselves, they are miserable. Therefore, they are always miserable, because they can never acquire what they need to be the 100% indestructible, unfeeling, needless, robot they think they are required to be.
 

Those impossible standards they cannot reach are not their own— Someone did them wrong. I'm not being sarcastic. Someone failed them horribly at some point.
 

For any man to think he must be ashamed of all his humanity to be good enough..
 

For a man to think he must be an intimidating, feared, and unstoppable force to be good enough...
 

For a man to think he must be the best to be good enough..
 

For a man to think people and their lives do not matter if they annoy or hinder what he wants...
 

For a man to have the genuine love of a woman and exploit it, mock it, then throw it away as if something so fundamental and meaningful to life is pointless...
 

For a man to think nothing and nobody is good enough....
 

For a man to need to hurt others to feel satisfied, without realizing it is his way to vindicate wrongs done to him a very long time ago, not ones being committed by the person he is currently trying to destroy by killing all of their hope...
 

Well, for a man to have to exist that way, I know without a doubt that someone did that man wrong. Nobody should ever have to feel and think that negative, destructive, and useless way.

 

For a man to perpetually quest after something he will literally NEVER be able to obtain.. is a cruel life sentence someone and/or something handed to the man I cared for..
 

And it enrages me to know he's stuck living in vain, chasing after the impossible, and failing to notice he's the one who's keeping his life the same by putting other's through a familiar hell like they're the ones to blame.
 

For a man to think I am full of shit when I know what I am saying is true..for his defenses to be so high that he will probably never ever be capable of 'seeing the light' because his impossible defense(arrogance) will keep him from thinking he even wants to or needs to..That upsets me.

 
Someone broke and wasted a beautiful person. That is what happened for pretty much all narcissists and/or sociopaths..No matter if they turn out to be an evil person or just a messed up person, it is sad. I know it is what it is and that life is hard.. but it isn't fair, even if they don't know what they are missing out on. It isn't right for any human being to have to live that way. That isn't how people are supposed to function. Everyone deserves to exist in a better state than that.
 

Can you imagine being able to see the world in such a skewed way that it let's you behave like a monster?
 

Can you imagine not caring about another person's pain and happiness-at all!?!?
 

It's complicated to care about people who don't care, especially when you know they hurt you without a single regret.
 

Back to the main point-

Once more, what do I know? I just have an endless amount of love for a man who cannot see me or care about my well-being. I just have spent over the past year obsessively studying Cluster-B personality disorders as a step in my recovery from psychological abuse from someone possessing many of their predominate traits. I also have just discovered I've dealt with these types my entire life. I am approaching this analyzation from a place of experience, insight and intrigue. But what insight could silly me possibly have!?..cough.
 

I am not learning about this material and sharing my thoughts to be hateful, nor to claim all narcissistic people are identical, worthless monsters. No way. I think all abusive individuals are individuals. I believe abusers tend to have many commonalities..just as most of their victims do with one another. Commonly shared traits such as similiar backgrounds and coping mechanisms, do NOT take away from the value or personhood of either type of partner within an abusive dynamic.
 

I believe my ex is a unique person, we all are. I also believe he is extremely narcissistic, no matter what the reason may be (whether is was caused by his childhood, combat, other life experiences, inherited mental wiring..or all of those factors combined.) I know he has his own history and reasons. I know he is more than his dark traits or disorder(s), if he has any. Lastly, I KNOW I cannot be inside of his mind. I can never say I know his thoughts and feelings with certainty, because I am not him.
 

For my own mental safety, I cannot deny which traits he has, the damage they caused me and will cause him, or all of the education I've acquired in a rational way.
 

I plan to become a damn expert on the complicated dynamics involved in all forms of domestic violence and personality disorders over the next several years. His fascinating mind has opened a very curious place within mine.
 

His issues have also caused me to notice and reflect on some of mine..for which I am very grateful. I do not mean that I am glad he is troubled, but his troubles hurting me made me slow down and actually discover some of my own that needed to be addressed and seriously improved upon. 
 

So if he is reading, thank you. I am sorry I couldn't do the same for you.. Instead, I probably just made you really angry or experience hell of a lot of your own cognitive dissonance. Although..I am pretty sure you already live in nearly a constant state of cognitive dissonance to rationalize and justify all the bad you do and all the bad that you've been through. I am truly sorry, I am not trying to put you through any of that..especially if it isn't going to assist you in getting better. I assure you, my intention will never be to do you any harm.
 

There is one thing I want to touch on that is much less important than everything else...but if he is reading I would like him to see.. Regarding my studies and knowledge on narcissistic abuse--I did not, and I am not, learning the aspects of it through a therapist, like he seems to think. He spoke as though she put all of this information in my head and made me assume incorrectly about him.. Maybe that was just him gaslighting..but still I want to say.. She never taught me a single thing about narcissistic abuse.
 

I sought out the information on my own by searching online, typing in ways he treated me, and the ways it made me feel. I know how to read, source information and purchase books. Most importantly, I know how to think. I am an emotional and sensitive person, but that doesn't mean my logic is unsound. I don't know everything, but I have full faith in my ability to learn and think rationally. Sure, it was MUCH harder for me to do with him around. ha.

 

But yeah..I go on an on about how I learned what I know about narcissistic abuse thus far, right here on this post- Labeling the Abuse* In case anyone is curious. I mean, I'm sure he'd say to me- "They're not." lol- If I recall how much I hated myself as a small child, teenager, and young adult, I swear the way he talked down to me was exactly how I talked to myself and saw myself back then.
 

The harsh, over the top cruel/critical way I viewed myself at the lowest points in my life is how his mistreatment made me feel again.
 

He made me feel as broken apart, useless and hopeless as I did when other people had messed up my self-esteem and inner-peace wayyy back then! Life is weird, eh? That's ok, me too.

An Abuser's Perspective

My Satirical Approach & Opinion 

regarding the destructive, disordered manner in which highly narcissistic individuals relate to others—Especially their compulsive need to devalue you.

If you can infuriate a kind person to this great of an extent...maybe the kind person was never the problem?? Nah..that's crazy talk! That stupid bitch made you abusive!
 

These types don't want depth. That is too scary of a concept to make sense. Thus, they decide if they don't want authentic closeness it surely isn't because it frightens them and is difficult..
 

They aren't afraid of anything and are strong enough to defeat any challenge! So..it must be because it is stupid, worthless, and beneath them.
 

They must only not wany closeness because it is something for the foolish people and women -excuse me- 'bitches' that don't know what really matters… -self gratification.
 

We are too weak and simple to possess the same knowledge they have. We cannot compare.
 

What we want doesn't matter.
 

What we experience and feel doesn't matter. Why should it?  We don't matter.
 

We have to be viewed as total scum so they can view themselves as special, strong winners who will best us lowlifes at anything and everything even when nobody is challenging them.
 

The less we are, the more they are.
 

If we disagree, disapprove, or feel anything they don't approve of, we are going down. We are being defiant, and they won't tolerate that!
 

You should know they know better than you! They'll find a way to teach you. They have to teach you.

If it isn't how they think it should be, it must be wrong.

If they don't control it, it is threatening. And nothing better dare threaten them because they're.. them!
 

Don't you dare disrespect their birth right of being the ultimate authority!
 

Only they can unjustly treat people like garbage.
 

They know we are garbage, so we don't deserve the right to defend ourselves or to dare observe their very real flaws which negatively impact others.
 

Who cares!?! Nothing's that serious, other than how great they are..and how pathetic everyone else is in comparison.

No. They truly are flawless.

Their struggles and supposed flaws are just the results of outside forces beyond their control. Terrible circumstances they were only in for honorable and admirable reasons they can tell you all about, or the result other lesser people's actions anyway..

Thus, they are not truly responsible for any of it. 

This isn't denial, no. No. No. It is just what they KNOW it is. No. No. No. Not denial. Not denial. That's just not who they are!
 

No. Thinking it is denial is only the talk and thought process of a crazy person! Or...thousands of genius, scientific minds and medical experts...
 

The 'superior one' knows that not even the doctors' brilliance and experience counts- because the experts simply are NOT THEM and can't ever understand the intricacies and brilliance of their amazingly complex, troubled, unique mind.
 

Nobody does, or ever will understand. The 'superior one' is on a higher plane than can be comprehended by any of us.
 

Their struggles are the absolute worst, and their achievements the absolute best!
 

If you are suffering, they suffer more. 

If you are good at something, they are better (or you're only good at it because life has been unfair to them by giving you an undeserved advantage whilst unjustly disadvantaging them)
 

Oh how infuriating and unfair for this impervious one! To have to slink down amongst the rest of us when they know they deserve so much better.
 

How dare we not recognize how they know they deserve to be revered.
 

It should always revolve around what they need and want.
 

They need you to shut up, stop thinking your pointless thoughts, and provide them with something they deem useful.  

Then get out of their way, because they're bored with your bullshit insanity and dramatic neediness to be treated with respect!
 

Respect?!...How dare you!
  

Who do you think YOU are!?
 

You!? Respect you!? 

How dare you expect or request that! They can be asked or expected to respect no one! That is insubordination!! Who do you think you are!?...respect from THEM!?!?
 

You should be thanking them for giving you their attention at all.. Because they are special, and can show you how to think, speak, and act far better than you ever could have on your own with that feeble mind of yours.
 

Oh the indignity! A victim isn't ok with how they were disgustingly abused by someone they loved and trusted!!!! What a crazy bitch! Who does she think she is!? A human being like them!!?
 

They'll show her one day..if they get bored enough. 

They'll put her back in her proper place. A place of much lesser value than their own.
 

They'll be their disordered, abusive father all over again (if the stories he shared were true)..and scar people the way someone and certain experiences scarred and destroyed him.
 

He'll recreate the nightmare and monster who pushed him down as he pushes you into the ground without mercy.
 

You are in their way. 

They are everything, so you defying them by being a pest will not be tolerated..
 

You will be shown how you should behave.. Cower, obey, and learn the correct world order with them at the very top.
 

They'll place all of that rage they constantly have to live with, for reasons unrelated to you entirely, and then blame you for every single bit of it. 

You did this to them. You made them angry and miserable. You must have! 

If you had only stayed in line, in the proper place they decided you should belong. UGH! But you didn't! You dramatic bitch!
 

You failed and provoked his justified wrath by daring to exist in a way that doesn’t align with his self-centered reality.
 

They are the 'superior one' so they couldn't possibly have a reason within themselves to cause the constant current of rage pulsing through them at various volumes..because they know they are right and know best.
 

They know their standards are the only correct standards.
 

They know their opinions are law; absolutely nothing else has merit.
 

Who do we think we are to not agree? Who!?
 

Respect the 'superior one.’ They were born being better than the likes of you. Especially if you're a bitch. Those don't even deserve an afterthought. I mean, I guess they might be people? NAH! They're just a good distraction, and a fun way to blow off steam through a sadistic form of adult-bullying.
 

With the 'superior one,' everyone in their close proximity who stands for truth and is an authentic person will be knocked to the ground and annihilated, because there is no way that anyone can actually be that good and genuine-
 

This one and only winner knows they aren't the same as that good person.. So that good person must not be good at all. Only the 'superior one' is truly anything good...
 

If someone is a good person, the 'superior one', who knows best feels they are being called a bad person merely by the good person existing in a state that varies from their own. That isn't ok.
 

Only the 'superior one' is good, talented, worthwhile, smart. Only them. You being any of those things around them is a direct insult and an attack..
 

No. They can't have good strong people around them. It makes them think about who they are too much-simply because they are always comparing (AKA competing) with everyone for depressing reasons they'll never acknowledge.
 

You can't be a better person than them.. It is not possible. So if you are, they will do all they can to make you less..because they have to be more (to 'win').
 

They can't allow anyone to be better than them. They wont 'lose' like that, and be made to look bad by some insignificant peasant!
 

Who do we think we are to feel otherwise!?!
 

How dare we be foolish enough to think we know our own worth and what kind of person we are!
 

ONLY the 'superior one' decides exactly who you are, and how much you matter!
 

It is up to them if you deserve to be treated humanely, because the world is solely here for the 'superior one' and his experiences- nobody else's count or are real, unless he says so.
 

The world exists for him.
 

He knows it is all up to him.
 

It is his birthright to judge how weak and undeserving everyone is.. 
 

If people were simply less pathetic he wouldn't feel entitled to push them around and down.
 

It isn't his fault we are all so worthless, stupid, and frustrating! 
 

The 'superior one' is only able to do this to us losers because of how disposable we make ourselves.
 

We may find it cruel and painful, but it is our own fault for not being what he approves of and wants. We did this to ourselves.
 

It is not the 'superior one's' fault that he is so much better than you..
 

It's not his fault that life picks on him more than anyone else. 

He's the biggest victim and the biggest winner.. Which makes him even more impressive because he has to work harder than anyone else does to win, yet somehow is incredible enough to always come out on top! 
 

If a piece of trash oversteps by behaving as if they are more than what this 'winner' has decided they are.. He will swiftly show the weak dumbass the truth that they are nothing- That'll make sure the insignificant lowlife never dares to defy his ruling again!
 

Everyone is nothing in comparison to the 'superior one'.
 

He is the best.
 

The strongest.
 

The angriest.
 

The smartest.
 

The saddest.
 

The coldest.
 

The most desired.
 

The most feared.
 

The most impressive.
 

The most misunderstood.
 

The most complex.
 

The most unappreciated.
  

The most wronged.
 

The most determined.
 

The most stealthy.
 

The most dangerous.
 

The most interesting.
 

The most damaging.
  

The unluckiest.
 

The most skilled.
 

The coolest.
 

The most screwed up.
 

The most powerful.
 

The most worthy.
 

We just don't understand what he goes through! Only his hardships matter or constitute as real ones.
  

We are all less. Always. We are irrelevant and lacking. The 'superior one' will make sure of it.
 

They know they are better. They'll prove it..
 

So they watch how good they can harm and provoke this supposedly good person. Aha! They knew they could make it so, I mean, that it was so..Cough. See? The good person isn't that good after all, because they were able to be broken (defeated).
 

Now the 'superior one' can feel better, less threatened. Because now they have reassured themselves that they are the victor in the non-existent battle. (It was actually just a vicious assault on someone who was never a foe to begin with.)
 

They won, you lost! Yus! You lost because you are less than them. Now balance has been restored.(AKA-the inner rage and misery have been temporarily pacified)
 

Knowing they can destroy you..knowing that you are weak. It makes them know that they are strong and that nothing can hurt them.
 

They are indestructible, unique, misunderstood. 

Misunderstood because we aren't enough of anything to be able to understand someone as great and special as them.
 

They don't care, nope. Not at all. They don't care so much, that they have to attack people who would have stood by them through it all. It is safer to make those 'fake,' useless allies fall. I mean, they have to be useless.
 

The all-knowing 'superior one' knows they could find a much better and more worthy ally anyway!
 

Why waste time with you, after you've 'lost'??
 

They require a winner...because THEY are a winner!
 

So they can't associate and care about someone as small and screwed up as you. Obviously. Your insignificant self would know that already if you were the 'superior one.. You imbecile!
 

The problem is, they will always find a way to win, even when they lose. They will find a way to boast themselves up above the 'competition'. Thus..they are always, always victorious.
 

What they require, desire, and deem worthy in an ally or a partner will never and can never come around..

..because another 'winner' doesn't exist in the reality of someone who cannot, and will not ever 'lose'
 

The saddest part, these former imagined opponents were never against the 'superior one' at all. Not in reality. Only in the highly defensive mind of someone who thinks they are worth more than everyone while simultaneously not realizing they don't have to fight to prove that they matter, because they already do.
 

The weak 'loser' already thought who the aggressive competitor was-flaws and all- was good enough and would accept and appreciate a truth that the 'superior one' will likely never see, let alone show anyone else.
 

These truths wont matter. They can't. That would be weak, dramatic bullshit that they know better than to care about.
 

It makes too much sense to be sane or valid. No no, it is nonsense. These losers are just insane.
 

The special, smart, strong 'winner' knows the idiotic 'losers' are just crazy and mad they didn't win. They can't know what they are talking about. They aren't them! No no. They don't know anything..and if they do know something, the 'winner' will make sure to convince himself that he knows more.
 

The 'superior one' knows he is always one step ahead of the rest..always the best..-Anything less would be considered 'losing'
 

If a weak, crazy, selfish, dramatic, 'loser' says anything even close to real..then it isn't real. 
 

Nothing the 'defeated one' says has merit, because you see..the 'winner' already made sure the pathetic 'loser' would never matter..thus insuring that their words could never count.
 

You know how? By deciding to believe the person is nothing- they can't be anything at all, because the narcissistic abuser insists on being everything. 
 

There's nothing left for anyone else. Which is perfect, because who cares about anyone else anyway!??
 

Sound familiar?? I guess that this wasn't written out of sorrow and frustration, and as a way to relieve stress..Nope. I'm too dense to know why I do what I do, only he knows the intent behind my actions and words..It must have been written from a place of hate..with the intent to harm someone I fear can't feel enough to be harmed by my thoughts anyway.
 

That has to be it, because I'm not good. I don't matter. I don't love him or anyone. Who cares if I do? He knows love is asinine, fake, a tool to use on crazy people like me. I can't have pure intentions, or simply be angry, sad, nothing that doesn't revolve around an attack on him. I couldn't possibly love him unconditionally, and simply hate his cruelty and warped view of others. Nah, I'm just evil and stupid.
 

All of those imaginary battles will never end for him, and that makes them very very real, the perceived opponent just will never know they're at war.
 

He will be fighting for absolutely nothing against people who he will crush for no reason other than he feels that he must..If he doesn't, he'd be respecting others..He can't respect them, to do so would be to take away respect for him. He deserves it all. No, only he is worthy of it. Definitely not you.
 

He can't do that, he knows that is how it is supposed to go. 
 

He knows he knows best. 
 

He can't be wrong. No. He can't be. He will never be wrong(lose.) No. He can't. 
 

Even when he is wrong, he isn't actually wrong. He was just wrong because.. of something, or you just thought he was wrong because you are what is wrong... or because something and someone else was wrong and made him be wrong. Not truly him. He’s never to blame.
 

You're the problem, not him. 
 

Everyone and everything else is the problem. We fail to do what we should do (what the 'superior one' perceives as being best-)
 

His way is the right way. The only way.
 

He can't escape himself. But he'll get rid of everyone who wants and cares for him.
 

He can't be 'weak' enough to actually value such nonsensical things. He can't be.
 

People who faithfully try to build him up must be broken down into jagged pieces.

Yes..small miniscule, jagged pieces; that way it will be even harder, or hopefully impossible to put themselves back together again.
 

HAHAH! That'll please the chosen one. He can see how weak they are! Yes! He's so powerful!

Only he can be strong. Don't you get it? 
 

He has to be the best. He is the best.

If someone else is great..they can't be great because..it takes away from him.. He needs it all. 
  

He can't let someone make his wife laugh more than he makes her laugh. NO. That isn't right, they can't make her laugh too, only he can. That person can't make her laugh more! That..would mean, that that person is better at making her laugh. 

No. He KNOWS he is best, and always will be, better..So, there must be something wrong with her..or something terrible about the one daring to make her laugh so much more than he ever has..something so awful must be wrong with the lowlife making her laugh..surely something that will make all of the lowlife's skills and worth NULL.
 

D.B.- Are we getting there now? I assume so, since you're still reading this. Remember how your brother wasn't allowed to make your mom laugh on the phone because it upset your controlling, narcissistic(abusive) father? Here we go.-

Always feeling like you must be more insures that nothing and nobody will ever be enough for you.   

You can't let them be enough.. because in the end..how it will always end for you... you must be the only one who is enough. Thus, everyone will fail you. You can't let them succeed because in your warped view that'd make you fail. 
 

You think someone asking for respect is disrespecting you. Always back to you..
 

Those unattainably high standards of yours, they aren't standards at all-it's a disordered way of thinking. Likely largely inherited from, or created by, someone you have much in common with and are frequently compared to.
 

I hate how you view and treat others, but I do love you- Your hate and the hell you unleashed upon me will never change that fact.
 

You only have the power to control those you gain access to through your heartless deception.
 

You exploit decency.
 

You gain trust to take advantage of it. You no longer have my trust.
 

Who I am, what I think, and what I feel is not up to you. It never was.

You are entitled to think it is your place to decide who people are and where they belong in your corrupt, imaginary world in which you are the ruler. But the only thing that will ever be real is the horrible way you make other people feel.
 

You will see one day, and if not..those who stay around you too long will see it..they will eventually see YOU, and you will end up alone with nobody to use and push around.
 

You will end up just like your poor father. You are already well on your way. I'm not saying there was no good in him..but I recall the talks I heard you and your family have regarding his behavior..it was abusive baby. 
 

Abuse is never ok, even if you love and respect the abuser. After all, I still have love and respect for you..It is your life, I am sorry if you decide this directionless negativity is all that you want it to be.
 

Your life would be much fuller and peaceful if it were up to me, but it's not. I promise, if I could magically erase all of the bad and give you all you need to be alright, I would.
 

Sadly, that is not my place or within my capabilities to ease the burdens that you carry or the pain caused by the broken parts of your mind. The only one who can make you choose to live better is you.