PTSD from Narcissistic Abuse

There’s no doubt that being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist is traumatic. 

Narcissistic abuse and gaslighting are particularly maddening and traumatizing forms of psychological abuse.

Sections:

• Symptoms

• Syndrome of Response to Abuse

• Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse 
  

• PTSD After Narcissistic & Psychopathic Abuse

• Emotional & Psychological Trauma  

 PTSD’S IMPACT ON THE BRAIN   —   COMPLEX PTSD   —   TREATMENT 

Symptoms

Whether it be PTSD or C-PTSD, the disorder can last anywhere from a few months to many years. For some, it may even be present for life.
 

A variety of triggers can bring back traumatic memories, spurring on powerful emotional and physical reactions.
 

Please know that having PTSD doesn't have to be a life sentence. Pinpointing and releasing the inner wounds can free your body and soul of the trauma, so that you have the chance to go on and live a happy, healthy life.
 

When you're in a relationship with a narcissist, whether that be a parent, coworker or intimate partner, you are existing on permanent eggshells.
 

You can't anticipate when the next blow will come or what it will be. Therefore, you spend most of your days in survival mode, trying to counter-intuit the next attack and avoid it from happening at all costs.
 

We are not meant to be in that Fight or Flight mode for long periods of time. The purpose of that high adrenaline rush is to aid you in getting out of a detrimental situation, so that you can get back to a peaceful state of being.
 

Common symptoms of PTSD from narcissistic abuse:

1. Feeling stuck
   
2. Hypersensitivity
   
3. Flashbacks 
4. Nightmares 
5. Self Blame 
6. Low Self-worth & Shame 
7. Erratic Emotions 
8. Numbing Out 
9. Trust Issues 
10. Suicidal Thoughts 
11. Irregular Sleeping Patterns 
12. Avoidance 
13. Confusion 
14. Panic 
15. Physical Ailments

FEELING STUCK

It's completely normal to feel stuck and confused, not only when you're in a narc relationship, but also on the flip side.
 

I've often had that debilitating feeling of not being able to move forward and not knowing if I will ever be able to - it can feel like mission impossible.

HYPERSENSITIVITY

It's strange how the extreme sensitivities can be off the charts one day or in one moment, but then be fine the next. Sometimes it may be a trigger that sets you off, other times there doesn't seem to be an obvious reason.

Your nervous system is fried!

Those hypersensitivities are a result of being in an abusive relationship where you never knew what was coming from moment to moment. Was it going to be a calm day or were you going to be in survival-mode as a result of gaslighting, manipulation or rageful outbursts?
 

Examples of hypersensitivity can include:

• Anxiety
• Nervousness
• Panic
• Being jumpy and on edge
• Overwhelm
• Being overly emotional
• Obsessive thinking
• Not feeling safe

FLASHBACKS

A very common symptom of PTSD from narcissistic abuse are the flashbacks. There you are, going about your day when out of nowhere a memory of something from the relationship will come back to you.
 

Your whole being feels like you're there, reliving that moment, over and over again. What the narcissist said or did to you and how you reacted. You may run through how you wish you could have responded, given the courage and knowledge, which you didn't have at the time.
 

You may analyze the situation, seeing just how manipulative and unjust it was, wishing for some kind of recognition from the narcissist.
 

You might even find yourself retelling the event to a friend in your mind, working through the details and getting some validation from them that you're not crazy.

NIGHTMARES

Having nightmares featuring the narcissist can go on for a crazy long time after you've extricated yourself from their grips in the waking world.
 

Nightmares about the narcissist or the relationship can show up in many forms. I've heard of nightmares where the abuse victim was stuck inside a house while the narcissist was prowling around the outside, waiting for them to come out.
 

My own personal narc nightmares are still on-going, almost two years after leaving him. In the dreams, he and I are still together and life is playing out as 'normal.' In the dreams I know it's all wrong and that I need to leave him, but just don't know how to do it. It feels like a complete invasion, where I'm bound to him and he won't let me go or allow me to move on.
  

I always wake up feeling so frustrated and angry. How dare he intrude in my dream state, without invitation, and play the false game that everything is 'normal! Those dreams may not even sound like nightmares to anyone else, but they are to me. While they look innocent enough, they feel so incredibly wrong on the inside, which is very indicative of what the actual relationship with the narcissist was like in real life.

SELF BLAME

The instances of narcissistic abuse victims blaming themselves is so incredibly common, it's heartbreaking.
 

Given that narcissists lack the empathy needed to stop people from being intentionally hurtful towards others, they have the best poker faces around.
 

A narcissist will look you dead in the eye and tell the largest of lies without batting an eyelid. It's in-built within all of us to be more trusting of people who keep direct eye contact as they're speaking to us.
 

Plus, of course we loved and trusted the person. Why would we think anything other than that they must genuinely have our best interests at heart.

"How could the person who was supposed to love me, intentionally set out to hurt me, all while denying it at the same time?"

It's beyond mind-blowing and an utter betrayal.
 

Once we realize that we've been willfully hoodwinked against all of our best intentions, the crushing feeling of, "how did I not see it" is devastating.
 

As victims of narcissistic abuse, we need to be regularly reminding ourselves that we didn't know and that it's not our fault.
 

It was our kind, trusting nature that drew the narc to us in the first place. I know it's incredibly hard, but we should not give away those beautiful parts of ourselves because of the narc - they do not deserve that.

LOW SELF-WORTH & SHAME

Narcissists are masters at eroding their victim's sense of self. Bit by bit, they'll chip away at another person's confidence by projecting their own feelings of shame and guilt onto the victim, who ends up taking on that garbage as their own.
 

Shame and guilt both hold very low vibrations, leaving the sufferer feeling like utter shit.
 

When someone has been told consistently that they're useless, they'll never amount to anything, they'll never to be able to make it on their own, they're not good enough and so on... the brain starts to believe it.
 

A massive part of healing from narcissistic abuse is realizing that all of the belittling and devaluing from the narc was their way of tapping into your deepest wounds. On a spiritual level, they are shining a light on your darkest trauma points, which need to be healed within yourself.
 

A very long time ago, the narcissist killed off their own true self, which was their connection to the divine source. That connection is essential for having an abundant source of life force. When the narc cut their source, they inevitably bound themselves to a life of needing to steal the life force from other beings as the only way of sustaining themselves.
 

With that severed connection, they lost their conscience, empathy and compassion, which is the true reason that they are able to perform so callously, without a backwards glance.

ERRATIC EMOTIONS

People suffering from post narcissist stress disorder will often find their emotions all over the place. You can be feeling amazing and free one minute, but then fall down into the depths of hell the next.

It can feel like a rollercoaster that you're just not able to get off.

You may feel anger or sadness as you relive different events from throughout the relationship.
 

Feeling teary and intensely sad for no reason can be a normal PTSD response and trying to manage those big emotions can feel utterly insurmountable.
 

Being quick to anger and not having the ability to regulate emotions during stressful situations is also common, as well as not having the ability to properly feel emotions at all.

NUMBING OUT

A very normal byproduct of abuse is to dissociate, which is where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories and sense of self. It's a mental protective measure designed to minimize the amount of pain that can be felt.
 

Seeking out ways to help numb the pain and emptiness are often behaviors that PTSD sufferers use for self medicative purposes. This could be with drugs, alcohol, prescription medicines, shopping, food, gaming and other escapist methods.

TRUST ISSUES

Sustaining healthy relationships after narcissistic abuse can be tricky at the best of times, but throw in PTSD and you're at a whole new level of difficulty.
 

Many sufferers of PTSD from narcissistic abuse report one of two things:

1. They avoid relationships altogether due to having zero trust.
    
2. They end up in toxic relationships due to not trusting in themselves enough and continue to repeat the same pattern (same shit, different person).

I can personally attest to both of those points. After a childhood of narcissistic abuse, I was craving the love and emotional connection I'd never experienced before.

So, when a guy appeared who was exhibiting those qualities, I jumped right in. Of course, those qualities quickly disappeared and twenty years later I was left with a covert narcissist, two kids and a legally-binding contract (marriage).
 

Coming out the other side of a toxic relationship, now I've flipped the switch to having zero trust and avoiding relationships altogether. I'm working hard on myself every day to heal my own inner trauma, so that I am able to attract in truly genuine and loving relationships.

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

The ongoing pain, anger, sadness, isolation and loneliness of PTSD can be too much to bear at times.

"Sometimes I ask for the universe to take me away so that I can finally escape it all." - Anonymous

Just know that when those types of thoughts creep in (although it may feel like it), you're not alone.
 

Life on Earth is hard. Life with ongoing complex trauma is even harder, especially when you feel like you can't escape the damage of a nightmare relationship.

If you're having suicidal thoughts, please call a helpline as soon as you can and talk to someone. You don't need to go through this alone.

IRREGULAR SLEEPING PATTERNS

Some PTSD sufferers find it hard to sleep at night and as a result, spend their days in a tired fatigued slump.
 

Insomnia can be an issue, as well as interrupted sleep or not getting into a deep enough sleep for long periods of time. Nightmares are another contributing factor for irregular sleeping patterns.
 

When you're dealing with fatigue, concentrating and being productive throughout the day becomes difficult.

AVOIDANCE

Being avoidant can be another symptom of PTSD from narcissistic abuse. This can range from avoiding the topic of abuse altogether, whether it be talking about it or even thinking about it.
 

PTSD sufferers may typically also avoid people and places that are connected to or remind them of the narcissist, which to be honest, I think is a totally healthy way to go.
 

Avoidance can also show up as a general sense of detachment.

CONFUSION

It's normal to feel confusion as a PTSD sufferer. Even making simple decisions can seem like an overwhelming task at times.
 

The prime reason that narcissists gaslight is to create confusion, which is psychological abuse at its best. Given that it had likely been used on you for a long period of time, suffering confusion on the other side is to be expected.
 

The self-doubt and inability to trust yourself is a direct symptom of those mental games, so please don't blame yourself.
 

Healing and rebuilding from that confusion and self-doubt will take time and there's absolutely no rush.

PANIC

One of the most debilitating symptoms of PTSD from narcissistic abuse is the feeling of panic.
 

I've experienced panic-attack type moments where I can hardly breath and I feel like I'm completely trapped.
 

For me, the feelings started out as sadness and unworthiness, which were sometimes triggered by something else that I'd seen or heard. But then as the sadness increased and I found myself crying uncontrollably, in came the panic.
 

Panic can also be a central nervous system response after living in such a heightened and constant sense of 'ready, set, go!' That's not a natural place for the human body to be in all the time.
 

Pure panic brings with it such an intense feeling of being stuck or caged within those massive emotions that it's easy to feel like there's no way out. Plus, you wonder if you'll be dealing with this trauma forever and if you'll ever be capable of a healthy relationship.

There's a lot to process.
 

Not to mention the complete lack of accountability from the narcissist who's already moved onto the next victim without a backwards glance at the destruction in their wake.

PHYSICAL AILMENTS

The final piece of the complex trauma puzzle, caused from narcissistic abuse, can be when symptoms show up in the physical sense.
 

By the time an ailment shows up physically in our body, it's been hanging out in our energetic field for quite some time. If you want to find out the metaphysical reason behind your ailments, I recommend looking them up individually for more insight.
 

Here are some examples of PTSD physical manifestations:

• Headache
• Nausea
• Dizziness/ vertigo
• Chest pain
• Tingling limbs
   

How to Heal PTSD from Narcissistic Abuse

The catch-22 when dealing with complex PTSD is the huge lack of trust towards others.

Many people who suffer trauma from narc abuse tend to want to go it alone.

Now I know that being hyper independent is merely a trauma response to "people always hurt you, betray you or abandon you."

However, if you really want to heal and move through narcissistic trauma, you're going to need help. It's a hard lesson I've had to learn.

SYNDROME OF RESPONSE TO ABUSE

from  Intimate Partner Abuse Questionnaire

[Answer questionnaire as if still in the relationship for those questions which refer to that]

0 - Never or Rarely true (or N/A)
2 - Sometimes true [If question is starred (*) rate as 2.
3 - Often or Always true

BEHAVIORAL RESPONSES TO RELATIONAL STRESS

• If I get a negative reaction from my partner, I try to be more pleasing

• I take on the activities my partner does not like to do

• I forget my partnerʼs hostility or negative behavior toward me once s/heʼs nice again

• I find myself changing in me whatever my partner is not comfortable with

• I have found myself panicking and trying harder to reach my partner if s/he grows distant

• I think I can improve our problems by figuring out how to better love my partner

• Even though my partner doesnʼt communicate well I believe my understanding can make up for the deficit

• I fight more to be heard as time goes on, but it only causes more conflict

• I have begun an addiction in response to relationship stress

• I have begun an eating disorder in response to relationship stress

SCORE _
 

EMOTIONAL RESPONSES TO RELATIONAL STRESS

• I feel more and more depressed and hopeless in this relationship

• I have felt suicidal because of the difficulty of the relationship

• I have attempted suicide during the relationship

• I have had a psychiatric hospitalization during the relationship for depression/suicidality

• I often feel anxious in the relationship

• I have begun having panic attacks during the relationship

• I feel painfully alone most of the time in the relationship

• I feel shame for agreeing to participate in some sexual practices my partner wants me to

• I feel shame for allowing myself to be disrespected and treated badly

• I feel more and more isolated as shame keeps me from reaching out to family and friends

• I have felt abandoned by or distanced from God since being in the relationship

• I have wondered if my partner would kill me

• I have not left the relationship because I fear my partnerʼs anger and retaliation

• I feel vague a sense of paranoia/uneasiness about my partner but cannot pinpoint why

SCORE _
 

NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE OF SELF

• I see myself as a failure in this relationship

• I have felt significantly less attractive as the relationship has progressed

• My sense of confidence has diminished during the course of this relationship

• When my partner disagrees with me or is angry it makes me doubt myself

• I feel deeply for my partnerʼs difficult life and would never want to abandon him/her like others have

• I believe the unusual nature of our relationship makes us unique

• I feel like we have two different lives – a public one and a private one

• I feel like I have lost myself in this relationship

• I feel addicted to the intense sex in our relationship

• My commitment/religious beliefs prevent me from giving up on my marriage and/or family no matter how miserable I might be

• Sometimes things seem to go missing and I wonder if Iʼm losing my mind

• I feel objectified in our sexual relationship

• It seems like my partner cannot see who I really am, but who s/he needs me to be

SCORE _
 

SYMPTOMS OF PTSD (PRESENT WITHIN SAME PERIOD)

• I feel hypervigilant about my partnerʼs unpredictable or hostile behavior

• I have flashbacks of abuse/deceit from the relationship

• I have problems concentrating on my daily activities 

• I find myself ruminating over interactions in our relationship that seem to have no resolution

• I feel detached from others and outside activities

• I have sleep disturbance and nightmares

• I have had multiple home or vehicular accidents during the relationship

• I feel emotionally numb or flat

• I feel more negativity, shame and/or guilt about myself

• I block out abusive or painful interactions with my partner when things settle down

• I feel more distractible, forgetful, and/or spacey as time goes on

• Since deceit was discovered I have been in a state of shock

• I have lost my ability to trust people as a result of this relationship

• I avoid activities, people, and situations that remind me of memories of this relationship

• I do not feel safe engaging in another relationship since breaking from this one

SCORE _

PHYSIOLOGICAL SYMPTOMS OF CHRONIC STRESS

• I get more respiratory and viral illnesses than usual in the relationship

• I acquired a chronic illness during the relationship

• I feel chest tightness and/or shallow breathing

• I have more muscle tension, headaches and/or migraines

• I have developed digestion issues during the relationship

• I feel generally broken down and worn out and/or developed adrenal fatigue

• I have lost/gained 20 or more pounds during the relationship

Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse

What is Trauma?

In basic terms 'trauma' is an experience, whether it's a one-off event, series of events or an ongoing situation or relationship that fundamentally threatens your sense of safety or security. 

Experiencing a mixture of the two is known as complex PTSD or C-PTSD.

Being with a narcissist (or an active addict or a partner with emotionally unstable or anti-social-type personality disorders) is highly and chronically stressful, often unpredictable, abusive, neglectful, involves lies and betrayal, rejection and punishment...
 

You rarely know where you stand with a narcissist so it's impossible to ever really feel safe and secure in the relationship. 
 

Without the ability to rest in a safe or secure, stable, containing or trusting relationship your nervous system then never gets a chance to calm or settle. 
 

Instead you find yourself living in a more or less permanent state of heightened arousal. You feel on edge, are jumpy, anxious, emotional, tearful, cranky and prone to further symptoms of stress and trauma.

Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma

Living with unprocessed trauma can at times be confusing, scary and paralyzing - and is often a factor that can keep people trapped in destructive and unhealthy relationship patterns.

This is usually the part that people can't see or understand when they simply suggest "Just leave them!".
 

Some victims find themselves unable to end or leave their harmful situation. This in itself can be painful and confusing. In these cases, knowledge, information and rational thinking are simply not enough to breakthrough to positive change. 
 

If unprocessed trauma is getting in the way of you making healthy choices for yourself or getting in the way of you holding healthy boundaries, please know first of all that this is not your fault. 
 

It is very common to be left feeling confused as to why you can have information and even recognize and name abuse, yet still feel terrified, guilty, obliged or paralyzed, unable to do anything about it, or if things have ended, you can feel stuck and have difficulty moving on. This is sometimes indicative of complex trauma. 
 

The struggles of C-PTSD following an abusive relationship are no reflection of effort, willpower or character. It's complicated and it's helpful to get specialist professional help.
 
 

Treating Complex PTSD

A common state many people living with C-PTSD find is a preference or desire to be self-reliant and due to trust issues (as a result of traumatic relationship experiences) tend to want to address and work through their problems alone. It's understandable to feel that way, however I would suggest finding a safe support group or therapist who you feel you can work with is in itself an important part of the healing. 
 

Trauma from narcissistic abuse or any other kind of damaging toxic relationship is a 'relational' trauma. Meaning the trauma has been about something between you and another person. 
 

The kind of betrayal caused from narcissistic abuse can create damaging issues of trust. However, through social engagement and the process of a good therapeutic relationship this healing can be achieved.
 

It is absolutely possible to heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, to feel better, to move on and get to a place where you can bring an end to unhealthy relationship patterns, rebuild trust and enjoy healthier, more fulfilling and loving relationships.

Source: https://www.drsarahdavies.com/post/trauma-narcissistic-abuse-and-why-you-might-feel-stuck

PTSD After Narcissistic & Psychopathic Abuse

You fall in love and want to build a future with someone that seems pretty special. 
 

But suddenly you find yourself defending your thoughts and opinions to someone who used to understand you. A normal conversation feels like a competition.
 

You have to walk on eggshells. You're exhausted and hurt.

Then it gets worse…

They begin to make up stories where they place you in the starring role of aggressor. 
 

You begin to hear that you are controlling, you are manipulative, you are confrontational, or you are paranoid. And they are the victim of your relentless bad behavior.
 

The gaslighting, scapegoating, projection, and blame shifting become nearly impossible for your mind to keep up with.

Then it gets worse…

They begin to attack you (verbally, through manipulation, or both) and play with your emotions like a cat with a ball of yarn. They seem to be having fun with your pain.
 

They set their sights on your self-confidence, beliefs, and self-esteem - these represent the core of who you are.
 

'How dare you think highly of yourself! That has to be destroyed!' (Seems to be the philosophy of many abusers.)
 

For some people it will escalate (e.g., assault, threats on their life, prisoner in their own home, their loved ones getting hurt, isolation, intimidation, not allowed to breakup, no food to eat, sexual violations, extreme control, or death).
 

It is no surprise that after a relationship with an abuser with pathological narcissism that someone can easily develop complex post traumatic stress disorder (cPTSD) or post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

PTSD

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is the brain's reaction to a severe stressor. And there is no finite list of experiences that are PTSD or non PTSD events. It can be any event that severely triggered your brain's stress systems in a certain way. In a way that caused the brain to interpret what was happening in your environment as a severe threat to you or other being.
 

Post traumatic stress disorder is a neurobiological disorder. All of the symptoms are a reflection of a brain that has been changed.

PTSD extends beyond an anxiety condition because it reflects a dysregulation of emotions in general. There is more involved with this condition than anxiety and/ or fear alone.

The range of arousal and emotions with PTSD can extend from

A). intense hypersensitivity to Z). emotional numbing- feeling minimal emotions or disconnected from certain emotions.
 

This extreme range can be experienced in the same person, however at different times. This is why PTSD is best considered a disorder of emotional and arousal dysregulation within the brain.
 

Therefore, it would not be uncommon for a person with PTSD to feel dysphoric, hypersensitive, anxious, unable to access feelings of joy/ love, irritable, agitated, preferring to be alone with minimal stimulation, lacking motivation, hypervigilance, unable to sleep, and isolating self to one room or within the house in general.
 

Many with PTSD also struggle with cognitive (thinking) symptoms such as difficulties with memory, concentration, and executive functions (e.g., organization, planning, task completion, task initiation, working memory, & motivation). 
 

This often happens because the brain is allocating such a tremendous amount of energy and attention to the emotional/ survival system, that cognitive processes are also hindered by the gross dysregulation of the system in general. 
 

However, some of the cognitive symptoms are the direct impact of neurobiological damage to certain brain regions (e.g., hippocampus).
 

The natural internal regulator of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, is often not onboard or not functioning at its' usual status for those with PTSD. Recall, the prefrontal cortex (frontal lobes) are the regulation areas. They help to soothe and manage an overactive limbic system.
 

With that being said, there is one important fact you should know about the prefrontal cortex and PTSD. It is not the entire prefrontal cortex that is hypo-responsive - Only certain regions. There are portions of the prefrontal cortex that are actually highly reactive and hyper-responsive for those with PTSD.

'Ok - so what does all that mean for someone who has PTSD?'

For the PTSD sufferer who was traumatized through a narcissistic, psychopathic, or abusive relationship, it will be important for them to find a mental health professional skilled with PTSD.
 

Studies have found that (particularly in the beginning stages) repeated review of the details of the abuse and/or the specific traumatic incidents can actually hinder progress. It creates a more difficult situation for the brain to manage. 
 

Therefore, many healthcare professionals tend to focus their services upon emotional regulation techniques and training first. In that way, they help their patient gain regulation ... soothing before they tackle the bigger issues.
 

You see, the brain has to be able to handle the more complicated psychological issues associated with the trauma. And a brain that is overly emotional and dysregulated is not in a good place to be able to do this. 
 

A brain under such stress and trauma will have a significantly difficult time taking on such a goal - emotional growth.

What can be done about PTSD symptoms?

Therapy with a skilled professional is often very helpful for someone with PTSD. The patient's emotional regulation abilities are aided by the therapeutic relationship, presence of limbic resonance, and the trust that is typically built with the therapist during the course of treatment.
 

Therefore, most therapists skilled in PTSD treatment will not spend a great deal of time discussing the narcissists or psychopath's individual offenses, transgressions, and the specifics of the abuse in the first phase of treatment. To do so would be to work in direct contradiction to the limbic (emotional) system of the brain.
 

Usually the focus is on methods to soothe the limbic system and strengthen portions of the frontal lobes more into action. It has to be able to handle certain emotions before giving it the task of moving forward
 

On a side note, for individuals who struggled with self regulation/ emotional regulation and self validation difficulties prior to the psychopathic relationship - perhaps in association with a childhood history of abuse or neglect.
 

It will be important to enlist the assistance of a skilled healthcare professional who will be able to assist with teaching coping strategies to modulate intense emotions.

With treatment, does the brain return to it's 'old' state prior to the abuse?

No, not completely.
 

In many ways, an individual will be stronger (e.g., recognizing a potentially disordered partner in the future). However, in other ways - weaker (e.g., some experience chronic anxiety/ heightened sensitivity).
 

The fact is, the brain is changed by trauma and it will not fully revert back to its' pre-trauma state.
 

There have been numerous studies that support this phenomenon. This is how the limbic (emotional) system works - the amygdala will change based on the associations and connections it makes with certain stimuli and experiences. 
 

The limbic system 'learned' specific information through the abuse and therefore since it is its' job to protect you, it will always hold on to that information and have a strong reaction if in a similar situation.
 

Now mind you, you will not feel hypersensitive or triggered by nearly as much as during the intense PTSD symptoms.

After the Abuse - PTSD & moving forward

Heightened sensitivity (although you may not want to have it) is a part of the workings of the brain's emotional system and usually remain - even after PTSD has been treated. 
 

However, most can manage this heightened sensitivity so long as they have done what is needed to treat any lingering trauma related changes that were treatable - such as PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, substance abuse, eating disorders, etc.
 

If one has done all they could for their brain and the remnants are the presence of hypersensitivity - due to the amygdala, then they can usually proceed with their life. They will have to put forth effort to live a healthy lifestyle BOTH emotionally and physically. 
 

True, they will have to give effort to avoid overstimulation and negativity (e.g., high stress jobs / toxic friends and family). But, a happy life can often proceed just fine!
 

Unfortunately trauma changes a person usually resulting in a more sensitive individual prone to feeling easily distressed.

Source: https://neuroinstincts.com/ptsd-aftermath-of-relationships-with-psychopaths-and-narcissists/

Emotional & Psychological Trauma

When bad things happen, it can take a while to get over the pain and feel safe again. But with these self-help strategies and support, you can speed up your recovery.

What is emotional and psychological trauma?

Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. 
 

Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won't go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. 
 

Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn't involve physical harm. 
 

It's not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. 

Emotional and psychological trauma can be caused by:

• One-time events, such as an accident, injury, or a violent attack, especially if it was unexpected or happened in childhood.
     

• Ongoing, relentless stress, such as living in a crime-ridden neighborhood, battling a life-threatening illness or experiencing traumatic events that occur repeatedly, such as bullying, domestic violence, or childhood neglect.
   

• Commonly overlooked causes, such as surgery (especially in the first 3 years of life), the sudden death of someone close, the breakup of a significant relationship, or a humiliating or deeply disappointing experience, especially if someone was deliberately cruel.
• 
  

Whatever the cause of your trauma, and whether it happened years ago or yesterday, you can make healing changes and move on with your life.

Childhood trauma and the risk of future trauma

While traumatic events can happen to anyone, you're more likely to be traumatized by an event if you're already under a heavy stress load, have recently suffered a series of losses, or have been traumatized before-especially if the earlier trauma occurred in childhood. Childhood trauma can result from anything that disrupts a child's sense of safety, including:

• An unstable or unsafe environment  

• Separation from a parent

• Serious illness

• Intrusive medical procedures

• Sexual, physical, or verbal abuse

• Domestic violence

• Neglect

Experiencing trauma in childhood can result in a severe and long-lasting effect. When childhood trauma is not resolved, a sense of fear and helplessness carries over into adulthood, setting the stage for further trauma. However, even if your trauma happened many years ago, there are steps you can take to overcome the pain, learn to trust and connect to others again, and regain your sense of emotional balance.

Symptoms of psychological trauma

We all react to trauma in different ways, experiencing a wide range of physical and emotional reactions. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to think, feel, or respond, so don't judge your own reactions or those of other people. Your responses are NORMAL reactions to ABNORMAL events.
 

Emotional & psychological symptoms:

• Shock, denial, or disbelief

• Confusion, difficulty concentrating

• Anger, irritability, mood swings

• Anxiety and fear

• Guilt, shame, self-blame

• Withdrawing from others

• Feeling sad or hopeless

• Feeling disconnected or numb

Physical symptoms:

• Insomnia or nightmares

• Fatigue

• Being startled easily

• Difficulty concentrating

• Racing heartbeat

• Edginess and agitation

• Aches and pains

• Muscle tension

Healing from trauma

Trauma symptoms typically last from a few days to a few months, gradually fading as you process the unsettling event. But even when you're feeling better, you may be troubled from time to time by painful memories or emotions-especially in response to triggers such as an anniversary of the event or something that reminds you of the trauma.
 

If your psychological trauma symptoms don't ease up-or if they become even worse-and you find that you're unable to move on from the event for a prolonged period of time, you may be experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). While emotional trauma is a normal response to a disturbing event, it becomes PTSD when your nervous system gets "stuck" and you remain in psychological shock, unable to make sense of what happened or process your emotions.
 

Whether or not a traumatic event involves death, you as a survivor must cope with the loss, at least temporarily, of your sense of safety. The natural reaction to this loss is grief. Like people who have lost a loved one, you need to go through a grieving process. The following tips can help you cope with the sense of grief, heal from the trauma, and move on with your life.

Don't isolate

Following a trauma, you may want to withdraw from others, but isolation only makes things worse. Connecting to others face to face will help you heal, so make an effort to maintain your relationships and avoid spending too much time alone.
 

You don't have to talk about the trauma. Connecting with others doesn't have to involve talking about the trauma. In fact, for some people, that can just make things worse. Comfort comes from feeling engaged and accepted by others.
 

Ask for support. While you don't have to talk about the trauma itself, it is important that you have someone to share your feelings with face to face, someone who will listen attentively without judging you. Turn to a trusted family member, friend, counselor, or clergyman.
 

Participate in social activities, even if you don't feel like it. Do "normal" activities with other people, activities that have nothing to do with the traumatic experience.
 

Reconnect with old friends. If you've retreated from relationships that were once important to you, make the effort to reconnect.
 

Join a support group for trauma survivors. Connecting with others who are facing the same problems can help reduce your sense of isolation, and hearing how others cope can help inspire you in your own recovery.
 

Volunteer. As well as helping others, volunteering can be a great way to challenge the sense of helplessness that often accompanies trauma. Remind yourself of your strengths and reclaim your sense of power by helping others.
 

Make new friends. If you live alone or far from family and friends, it's important to reach out and make new friends. Take a class or join a club to meet people with similar interests, connect to an alumni association, or reach out to neighbors or work colleagues.

If connecting to others is difficult...

Many people who have experienced trauma feel disconnected, withdrawn and find it difficult to connect with other people. If that describes you, there are some actions you can take before you next meet with a friend:
 

Exercise or move. Jump up and down, swing your arms and legs, or just flail around. Your head will feel clearer and you'll find it easier to connect.
 

Vocal toning. As strange as it sounds, vocal toning is a great way to open up to social engagement. Sit up straight and simply make "mmmm" sounds. Change the pitch and volume until you experience a pleasant vibration in your face.

Self-regulate your nervous system

No matter how agitated, anxious, or out of control you feel, it's important to know that you can change your arousal system and calm yourself. Not only will it help relieve the anxiety associated with trauma, but it will also engender a greater sense of control.
 

Mindful breathing. If you are feeling disoriented, confused, or upset, practicing mindful breathing is a quick way to calm yourself. Simply take 60 breaths, focusing your attention on each 'out' breath.
 

Sensory input. Does a specific sight, smell or taste quickly make you feel calm? Or maybe petting an animal or listening to music works to quickly soothe you? Everyone responds to sensory input a little differently, so experiment with different quick stress relief techniques to find what works best for you.
 

Staying grounded. To feel in the present and more grounded, sit on a chair. Feel your feet on the ground and your back against the chair. Look around you and pick six objects that have red or blue in them. Notice how your breathing gets deeper and calmer.
 

Allow yourself to feel what you feel when you feel it. Acknowledge your feelings about the trauma as they arise and accept them.

Take care of your health

It's true: having a healthy body can increase your ability to cope with the stress of trauma.
 

Get plenty of sleep. After a traumatic experience, worry or fear may disturb your sleep patterns. But a lack of quality sleep can exacerbate your trauma symptoms and make it harder to maintain your emotional balance. Go to sleep and get up at the same time each day and aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.
 

Avoid alcohol and drugs. Their use can worsen your trauma symptoms and increase feelings of depression, anxiety, and isolation.
 

Eat a well-balanced diet. Eating small, well-balanced meals throughout the day will help you keep your energy up and minimize mood swings. Avoid sugary and fried foods and eat plenty of omega-3 fats-such as salmon, walnuts, soybeans, and flaxseeds-to give your mood a boost.
 

Reduce stress. Try relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises. Schedule time for activities that bring you joy such as your favorite hobbies.

When to seek professional therapy for trauma

Recovering from trauma takes time, and everyone heals at their own pace. But if months have passed and your symptoms aren't letting up, you may need professional help from a trauma expert.
 

Seek help for trauma if you're:

• Having trouble functioning at home or work

• Suffering from severe fear, anxiety, or depression

• Unable to form close, satisfying relationships

• Experiencing terrifying memories, nightmares, or flashbacks

• Avoiding more and more anything that reminds you of the trauma

• Emotionally numb and disconnected from others

• Using alcohol or drugs to feel better

Working through trauma can be scary, painful, and potentially re-traumatizing, so this healing work is best undertaken with the help of an experienced trauma specialist. Finding the right therapist may take some time.
 

It's very important that the therapist you choose has experience treating trauma. But the quality of the relationship with your therapist is equally important. Choose a trauma specialist you feel comfortable with. If you don't feel safe, respected, or understood, find another therapist.

Ask yourself:

• Did you feel comfortable discussing your problems with the therapist?
   
• Did you feel like the therapist understood what you were talking about?
   
• Were your concerns taken seriously or were they minimized or dismissed?
   
• Were you treated with compassion and respect?
   
• Do you believe that you could grow to trust the therapist?

Treatment for Trauma

In order to heal from psychological and emotional trauma, you'll need to resolve the unpleasant feelings and memories you've long avoided, discharge pent-up "fight-or-flight" energy, learn to regulate strong emotions, and rebuild your ability to trust other people. A trauma specialist may use a variety of different therapy approaches in your treatment. 
 

Somatic experiencing focuses on bodily sensations, rather than thoughts and memories about the traumatic event. By concentrating on what's happening in your body, you can release pent-up trauma-related energy through shaking, crying, and other forms of physical release.
 

Cognitive-behavioral therapy helps you process and evaluate your thoughts and feelings about a trauma.
 

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) incorporates elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy with eye movements or other forms of rhythmic, left-right stimulation that can "unfreeze" traumatic memories.

Helping a loved one deal with trauma

When a loved one has suffered trauma, your support can play a crucial role in their recovery.
 

Be patient and understanding. Healing from trauma takes time. Be patient with the pace of recovery and remember that everyone's response to trauma is different. Don't judge your loved one's reaction against your own response or anyone else's.
 

Offer practical support to help your loved one get back into a normal routine. That may mean helping with collecting groceries or doing housework, for example, or simply being available to talk or listen.
 

Don't pressure your loved one into talking but be available if they want to talk. Some trauma survivors find it difficult to talk about what happened. Don't force your loved one to open up but let them know you are there to listen if they want to talk, or available to just hang out if they don't.
 

Help your loved one to socialize and relax. Encourage them to participate in physical exercise, seek out friends, and pursue hobbies and other activities that bring them pleasure. Take a fitness class together or set a regular lunch date with friends.
 

Don't take the trauma symptoms personally. Your loved one may become angry, irritable, withdrawn, or emotionally distant. Remember that this is a result of the trauma and may not have anything to do with you or your relationship.

Source: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/coping-with-emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm#

Healing from CPTSD After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by Andrea Schneider, MSW, LCSW 

Recovery unfolds in three stages:

1.) Establishment of safety. 
 

2.) Remembrance and mourning. 
 

3.) Reconnection with ordinary life. 
 

Treatment for this aptly termed complex fusion of anxiety, depression, grief, and reclamation of healthy relationships and self of sense is a multi-faceted process requiring much commitment by both therapist and client, unconditional positive regard of the therapist, and endurance and fortitude by both.
 

Fortunately, recovery is probable and hopeful, with skilled, compassionate help. I am honored to bear witness to the transformation before me with the incredible work my clients embark upon to reclaim their wellness.
 

In the trauma literature, Judith Herman, author of the seminal work, Trauma and Recovery(1992) was the first to coin the term, Complex-PTSD. Subsequently, many pioneers in the field of trauma have elaborated on the concept and addressed different pathways for healing to occur (see resources at end of article).
 

One of the more recent books published, entitled Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving(2013) by trauma therapist Pete Walker, discusses C-PTSD as:
 

C-PTSD is a more severe form of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

It is delineated from this better known trauma syndrome by five of its most common and troublesome features:  

• emotional flashbacks

• toxic shame

• self-abandonment

• a vicious inner critic

• social anxiety.
   
  

For individuals exposed to narcissistic abuse, whether in work, family or romantic relationships, the individual has absorbed trauma on many levels -

physiologically

cognitively

and emotionally. 
 

Recovery work involves the integration of these three levels of the brain to master and release the trauma.
 

The work of Bessel van der Kolk in his ground-breaking book,The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma(2015) illuminates the options for blending an eclectic approach to interventions, including somatic work, mindfulness-based cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, and expressive arts, to name just a few.
 

Also helpful in the literature for survivors is the discussion of the trauma bond, which is so common in relationships with psychological abusers. Patrick Carnes work The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships(1997) is also helpful in understanding what a trauma bond looks like and how a survivor can psychologically sever the tie connecting them with their abuser.
 

Carnes addresses the need to establish healthy connections with a community of support, establish and reinforce healthy boundaries with others, increase self-acceptance, psychoeducation of abuse cycles, and reclaiming an empowering narrative of recovery.
 

Individuals impacted by psychological abuse need and deserve support by skilled trauma-informed clinicians who understand narcissistic abuse. We are living in a day and age where we can see narcissistic abuse present on many levels, be it in politics, community, work, home or love relationships.
 

One of the first steps in healing from narcissistic abuse is the psychoeducation of this insidious form of psychological abuse.
 

Subsequently, survivors are most helped by skilled strengths-focused, trauma-informed clinicians who understand the subtle nuances of narcissistic abuse recovery. Trauma work is often multi-dimensional and complex, just as recovery from C-PTSD could be described as excavating through various layers of healing.
 

With compassionate and informed help, survivors have an excellent opportunity to reclaim wellness and begin a new chapter of wellness and inner peace.

Example of PTSD Recovery 

Let's look at how a person changes, even after the primary symptoms of PTSD are treated.

Here's an an example of a couple - Karen and Joel. During 'Karen's' relationship with 'Joel' (psychopath) they often went to the local mall. They ate at a little pub down the road on most Friday nights and they had a few favorite tracks they would play in the car on their road trips.
 

For months after the relationship, when Karen was within the peak of her PTSD symptoms, she felt like she was falling apart. 
 

On one occasion she tried to go into the mall to buy a gift for a friend. The smell of the department store and the sound of her heels clicking on the marble floor sent her into a meltdown. She ran out and sat in her car crying for 20 minutes.
 

The mall was triggering to her and she felt unable to handle going in. The same for the pub. Although she loved music her entire life, she felt overstimulated by the radio and was unable to listen to anything other than calm music or relaxation tracks.
 

Karen decided to go for treatment with a psychologist to address her symptoms. She was diagnosed with PTSD and treated via therapy. Her primary care physician recommended an exercise routine, as well as a regimen of supplements, and a prescription medication. She discontinued her increased consumption of alcohol (which was started only after the breakup) and put her focus on healthy living instead.
 

After receiving treatment for her PTSD with the psychologist and physician, her emotional arousal level returned to nearly the same as before- she was regulated. Karen was able to blast music and sing along in her car. She enjoyed going to the mall again and bought herself a new wardrobe. She met up with a few friends at the pub down the road for dinner and started enjoying life again. A place she thought she would never be able to go to again.
 

Her ability to feel the full range of emotions had returned fully. All the little environmental triggers were no longer triggers anymore - they were neutral again. The frontal lobes were able to do their job and extinguished those connections. However, it kept the most important connection in place: psychopaths = pain.
 

Although her brain clearly learned what it should have learned from the experience and her world was no longer one big overstimulating trigger, she noticed there was a difference. 
 

She was more sensitive now than in the past. She found it difficult to wind down after any stressful incidents, regardless of how minor. 
 

She would be easily startled if someone walked into the room, and quick to feel distressed and nervous when comparing herself to her status before the relationship. Karen was able to live with this and she was a very happy young lady. 
 

The sleep difficulties were gone and most of the time she felt calm. However she was aware she was changed by the experience and had to handle herself with more tender loving care than in the past. 
 

She was prepared, because her psychologist made her aware that this change can accompany treated PTSD.

Source: https://unmaskingthenarc.com/ptsd-from-narcissistic-abuse/