Sections:

22 Stages of a Relationship Between an Empath & a Narcissist 

2. The empath gets the false notion that they have finally met the kind of love that people don't find even once. Narcissist affirms this by creating an illusion that leads the empath to believe that what they have is special. The empath feels a deep bond that is almost impossible to break.
 

3. Sometimes it appears that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as the empath. Actually, what they want is someone who invests their time, energy and love and is in their complete control. 
 

4. As the time will pass, the narcissist will make the empath feel weak, unconfined, and bereft of the abilities to do even the simple things. The narcissist may not launch an open attack, but use statements like "don't want to hurt you but..." to point out some shortcoming. They will try to take over anything which symbolizes control. The empath will be looked down upon for their interests and many such things that form their identity. Gradually, the empath starts to believe that they are less capable and they "need" someone like the narcissist in their life.
 

5. For an empath, this relationship will be everything as they are the ones who are in love. Out of love, they would always want to soothe and cheer the narcissist, talk to them, help them and do whatever makes them feel good. The narcissists project themselves as the victim of their past, their relationships, and the circumstances. The empaths are givers; they try to make up for all the unfortunate things that have ever happened to the narcissist. 
 

6. The empath has a good and a clear heart and cannot imagine the deep and unresolved wounds of the narcissist are not the same as their own. Healing those wounds is different from their own. 
 

7. The relationship is all about the narcissist. The empath realizes this slowly, and a time comes when they feel afraid to talk or fight for their needs and desires. In their attempt to please they don't want to voice their true needs. They would rather be likable than give any reason to be disliked. But, secretly they are not too happy. 
 

8. The more devotion, love, care, affection, and effort the empath puts into the relationship, the narcissist feels completely in control over the relationship. The empath literally dances to the tune of the narcissist. As long as the empath continues to appease the narcissist, it's impossible to detect any problem in the relationship. The problem occurs when the empath finally reaches the breaking point.   
 

9. Finally, the empath raises a voice because they can no longer keep up with the suppressing ways of the narcissist. Day after day their emotional needs remain unfulfilled. This happens because from the beginning of the relationship they have believed their partner's emotional needs are all that matters. When they finally understand their well-being also matters, and speak out, they seem selfish. The narcissist does not like it. 
 

10. The narcissist is an attention seeker. They get satisfaction when people fuss around them. Their needs can never be met, they can never be satisfied. They may move to other partners, open a new business, travel around the world, get involved in new creative pursuits, and so on and so forth, but they will never be happy. The empath isn't aware of this fact.
 

11. When the empath finally bursts out something like "My feelings also matter," the narcissist is quick to call the empath "crazy." They call them over-dramatic and their concerns unfounded. This kind of dismissive behavior is a tactic used by them to gain control over the empath's mind. 
 

12. The empath gets confused. Why they have meted out such behavior, is beyond their understanding. They start blaming themselves and wonder if they are at all worthy of being loved by anyone at all. 
 

13. At this point, the empath is not able to understand that they are just being manipulated. Their partner has bent everything around them to create a twisted view of the circumstances. They can bend anything around to make it appear the truth is that they are the one who is "right" and it's their partner who is tremendously "wrong" and wicked.
 

14. The empath will try to communicate with the narcissist in all truthfulness. The narcissist will, however, justify their behavior and pass the blame.
 

15. It is normal to feel lost, confused and hurt. But despite all the heart-break, the empath will need to be calm and do some self-evaluation to figure out how they became so defenseless. This is how they will start transforming. 
 

16. The empath will know that they are by nature healers. They have the inner strength to help others in the right ways, sometimes as a duty and sometimes when life brings them to such situations.
 

17. The empath has to realize the bitter truth that not everyone deserves their love, care, and affection. Not everyone who seems distressed and unhappy is revealing their true self. There are some people who have sinister motives and have a very different outlook towards relationships and people than they do. Not everyone they fall in love with can be trusted so quickly.
 

18. In this situation, the empath must realize that they too are in a very bad situation something of which the narcissist in their life always spoke of. But, in their case, it would be different. They would make positive efforts and heal themselves. The narcissist will not. 
 

19. For empath this will be a painful awakening. They will learn from the experience to move ahead. 
 

20. The narcissist will continue as if nothing happened and they are completely innocent. They won't remember for a moment that someone loved them so deeply and intensely. They won't remember the powerful bond they once had with someone and just move on to find it somewhere else. A time will come when they will know they can neither connect with themselves nor with other people. 
 

21. The narcissist will move on. In time they will find another victim. 
 

22. The empath will be stronger, wiser and be more cautious about who they give their time, affection and love.

Source: https://themindsjournal.com/stages-relationship-empath-narcissist/

A Toxic Attraction

The Strong Attraction Between Empaths & Narcissists

When the empath and narcissist enter into a relationship together, it creates a magnetic, yet dysfunctional union because the empath gives to the point of complete and utter exhaustion.

Profoundly disoriented, the empath is often destroyed by the relationship.

This experience is painful and overwhelming but ultimately, the empath undergoes a soul awakening. The narcissist remains the same.

Narcissists Are Attracted to People They Will Get the Greatest Use From

Often, this means they pursue empaths. What narcissists see in empaths is a giving, loving person who is going to try and be devoted to you and love you and listen to you.
 

But unfortunately empaths are attracted to narcissists, because at first this is about a false self where they can seem charming, intelligent, and even giving, until you don't do things their way, and then they get cold, withholding and punishing.
 

At the beginning the narcissist is loving and attentive because they only see the good qualities, and believe the relationship will make them look good. 

This doesn't last because narcissists are full of contempt, and they see most people as below them. Once they start to notice their partner's flaws, they no longer idealize them, and they start to blame them for not being perfect.

The Empath Is Hoping to Be Truly Seen and Loved by the Narcissist

In fact, their sense of worth is tied to being loved by their narcissistic partner. An unconscious thought process is taking place, whereby the empath believes that, if they can overcome the challenge of getting the narcissist to love them, then their worth will be validated.
 

In other words, if they can make the person who is incapable of love, love them, then they are truly worthy of love.
 

They try to heal the wounded narcissist, hoping that once healed, they in turn will provide the empath with the love and validation they so desperately desire.
 

Underlying their unconscious desire to seek love from the unloving narcissist is an acting out of a childhood relationship dynamic where they have felt unlovable or rejected by a primary caregiver.
 

The empath was unable to receive the unconditional love that every child needs. This could have occurred as a result of having a narcissistic parent(s), or having parent(s) who were unavailable to their emotional needs (i.e., need to be noticed, need to be acknowledged for one's strengths, need to be accepted and loved). Now in their adulthood, the empath is trying to seek validation and feel the worth they did not feel as a child.
 

Furthermore, the empath, due to early misattunement and/or emotional unavailability from the primary attachment figure, has learned to associate love with pain. Therefore, they become tolerant of being mistreated by their narcissistic partner.
 

The empath pours all of her energy into the relationship with the narcissist, often tolerating high levels of mistreatment, hoping they can receive the love they desperately want and need. But trying to remake a narcissist into an emotionally available and loving partner is not possible.

Empaths Are the Opposite of Narcissists

While people with narcissistic personality disorder have no empathy, and thrive on the need for admiration, empaths are highly sensitive and in tune with other people's emotions.
  

Empaths are "emotional sponges," who can absorb feelings from other people very easily. This makes them them very attractive to narcissists, because they see someone who will fulfill their every need in a selfless way.

The Empath Can Form a Trauma Bond 

The push and pull nature of the narcissistic relationship can generate a trauma bond between the victim and the abuser, where it can feel almost impossible to leave the relationship, no matter how much damage it is doing.
 

With empathy comes the ability and willingness to look at ourselves and look at our own faults, and that gets taken advantage of while the trauma bond is happening.
 

It becomes a cycle for an empath who has been trauma bonded because they start looking at themselves, and what do they need to do to change, and what do they need to do different, and what their character flaws are. It's the perfect set up, unfortunately.
 

It can sometimes take a while for the true colors to show, an empath should never fall in love with a narcissist. But this goes against an empath's instincts, as they believe they can fix people and heal anything with compassion. 'If only they just listened more, if only they could give more.' That's just not the case with a narcissist.
 

It's so hard for many empaths to believe that somebody just doesn't have empathy, and that they can't heal them with love.
 

Empaths work hard for harmony, whereas narcissists are looking to do the opposite. They enjoy chaos, and like to know they can pull people's strings.

Narcissists Manipulate Empaths by Stringing Them Along with Intermittent Hope

They will integrate compliments and kindness into their behavior, making their victim believe that if they behave in the correct manner, they will get the loving person back who they once knew.
 

This is simply a tactic narcissists use to reel their partner back in. With empaths, it is very effective, because they want to support their partner and help them grow. Ultimately, they are just being exploited further.

The Narcissist Needs to Decide to Change

As long as the empath is holding the narcissist's disavowed feelings, the narcissist will not need to feel their own feelings.
 

Without feeling the depth of their own feelings, they cannot change. Instead of changing, the narcissist will most likely find another empath to use for his survival.

Empaths Thrive on Helping People and Giving to Others

But problem arise when the empath ignores her own needs in process. Often empaths can be more aware of the feelings of others and what is going on in their environment, than they are of their own internal state.

This pattern leads to the suppression of painful feelings, and a lack of awareness about how to protect themselves from others.
 

The more disconnected the empath is from her own feelings, the more likely it is that she will pour all of their love and attention into the relationship and try to fix her partner.
  

The more love and care the empath provides in the relationship, the more controlling and powerful the narcissist will become, intensifying the abusive dynamic.
 

This leads to a vicious cycle of the demoralization of the empath by the narcissist, furthering the sense of victimhood the empath already feels.
 

In this downward spiral, the empath is not only blamed for the dysfunction of the relationship by the narcissist, but she also turns her anger inward and blames herself.

Boundaries Are Healthy for All Relationships

For empaths, boundaries can feel harsh, but once they are aware of the strength of saying "no," they can protect themselves from people who are looking to take advantage of them.
 

Empaths don't have to become hard-hearted to be able to be healthy. It's important to recognize that not everybody needs to be in our lives.
 

We're going to come across people who we realize might not be healthy for us, and you have to be okay with letting them go.

Sources: https://www.therapyroute.com/article/the-parasitic-relationship-between-a-narcissist-and-an-empath-by-r-partiali https://www.businessinsider.com/why-empaths-and-narcissists-are-attracted-to-each-other-2018-1

Shared Core Wound:
 Narcissists & 'Empaths'

The core wound empaths and narcissists often have in common is:

- 'I'm not good enough'

- 'I'll never measure up'

- 'I hate who I am'

- 'Others don't like me'
 

If a narcissist holds this deep-seated belief of inadequacy, we can attribute their damaging behaviors as a desperate need to fill a void.
 

People who exhibit narcissistic behaviors project outward. They channel their inner self-hatred and use it to diminish someone else's strength, self-confidence, light and energy.
 

The twisted reasoning is, if other people feel at least as bad, if not worse about themselves, then the narc elevates themselves to a false sense of worth. In simple terms: pull others down so a narcissist can 'rise.'
 

Many highly sensitive/ empathic individuals also hold the self-belief, I'm not good enough.
 

Because connection is the lifeblood of empathic people, finding someone else who shares the same underlying wound might seem at first like Oneness, later to be revealed as illusionary.
 

A narcissist often displays outer confidence, but an empath senses at a subconscious level what's really going on inside. If they share the core wound of inadequacy, what gets established is: 'I know you, I am you.'
 

Which leads the narcissist at some level to hope, maybe the empath can fix me. Maybe they will finally take away my fear and anger and pain. Which leads the empath to hope, if I can fix you, maybe I can also fix me. If I can get you to love me, maybe I can truly love myself.
 

The empath too, is trying to fill an inner void. This mirroring cycle repeats between them until the empath is drained and depleted.
 

The narcissist feels a false sense of superiority, believing they have taken the upper hand, and that power and control trumps authentic love and connection.
 

The empath may feel guilty for wanting to leave, because they mistakenly believe they're not just walking away from that person, but also walking away from themselves. 

Neither acknowledges the core wound underneath.
 

To break the cycle, an empath can revisit that first moment in their life when they internalized the message, 'I am not enough.'
 

You can reframe by asking, is that really true? Who told me that and what was their motive for making me feel less than? What if I choose a different belief about myself?
 

With time, gentleness and inner reflection, you can forgive whoever laid this upon you and especially forgive yourself for carrying it inside all those years.

The Necessity of Rage

Dr. Ava Pommerenk

Advice for an Empath Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse

I'd venture to say that over half the human population has felt or currently has something that triggers rage from within them. And, for many of us, we have never been taught how to deal with this complex affectual experience.
 

In fact, most of us don't understand what rage is, or are terrified when trying to deal with it, when it appears. This way of relating to rage, unfortunately becomes the Achilles heal for most, and especially Empaths.
 

Rage is an expression of despair, fear, disgust, shame, and deep (and often overwhelming) anger. Rage is a visceral experience just as much as an emotional experience. It is a feeling that often gets "triggered" by a perceived or real boundary violation, threat of abandonment or neglect, or threat of something traumatic occurring, for the self, or to someone or something we care about.
 

Often, those who have experienced several traumatic experiences in their life, usually based in the context of relationships, carry and experience rage. It may take actually very little, if not just the right "trigger", to ignite rage. And, these people may feel overwhelmed and not know how to manage it. There are internalizing and externalizing expressions of this rage, when one feels overwhelmed and incapable of dealing with it in the self.
 

• Those who externalize, who are often Narcissistic, compulsively act out on others (in a physical, relational, and/or emotional way), primarily using projection and blame, in order to dispel the visceral experience of their rage.
   

• Those who internalize, who are often more empathetic or actual Empaths, may act out their rage, on their self, in the form of co-dependent over- accountability to others, with self-directed perfectionism, self-denial, self-hatred and self- dismissal, which often leads to depression and suicidal behavior.
  

Even the most empathetic and non-violent of us have rage, even though we may not acknowledge it. In fact, us empathetic folk have a lot of bottled up rage, because we often deny and suppress it, and become perfectionistic with our self about our integrity and "goodness", and therefore it isn't obvious to those around us that we are just as rage-ful as a Narcissist. In fact, most people who end up with Narcissists are Empaths, because we have the same amount of rage we attempt to manage, and this allows us to fit together in complimentary ways. 
 

And, how, you may ask, more specifically are they complimentary?
  

Well, the Narcissist expresses the qualities of rage, that the Empath disowns or actively represses within their self, and the Narcissist then exploits the fact that the Empath disowns these parts of their self, to keep them hooked in to being in relationship, and capable of being manipulated.
 

As a part of being empathetic and likely a healer type, Empaths learn to disown their capacity for rage and hatred towards others, because they can use their big hearts and over-active self-perfectionism and integrity, to easily depend on being able to understand another's motivations, and have compassion for them, despite the other's behaviors.
 

In addition, Empaths capacity to feel with and for another's pain, often is used as a way to override their own pain and terror of causing harm and disconnection, and is very much dependent upon them suppressing their own rage.
 

Add into this, that Narcissists, as a part of externalizing their rage, will shift the focus and responsibility onto the Empath, which is called projection. 

This manifests as constantly being critical of the Empath's integrity and capacity to be compassionate and understanding, and thus placing more pressure on the Empath to prove their integrity, as well as compassion, empathy and understanding.
 

The Empath gives them what they want, because they already are highly perfectionistic in regard to monitoring their goodness and feel overly responsible for other's well-being, and in their mind, they take on the work of suppressing the rage and taking on the Narcissistic person's needs, "concerns" or "hurts", in order to "help" the Narcissist, and avoid doing the "harm" the Narcissist says they do by resisting this projection of rage.
 

They maintain this taking on of the projection to further prove themselves as good and worthy of connection, and to maintain relationship connection. If you add spirituality to the equation, because many healers are also spiritual, they may also use their spiritual practice, and their capacity to generate more loving, accepting and compassionate states, as a way to bypass these feelings of rage and prove themselves, and they do this because they feel identified with the healer position in service of helping everyone heal, to avoid falling in to depression, and to maintain peace and connection.

So, as long as the Empath denies their rage and their core, human boundaries around how the Narcissist treats them, they stay stuck with a Narcissist.

And, when the Narcissist begins to wear on them, and they do happen to get angry and act out from this place, the Narcissist has more evidence to use against them, that they are in fact the "harmful", "abusive", "bad" or Narcissistic one.

Since the Empath's keenly aware of not being identified with these "bad" behaviors, and feels responsible for other's well-being, no matter how justified the Empath is to feel and act this rageful way in self defense, they work harder to become even more understanding, empathetic and tolerant to counteract the painful rage feelings that build, and may sometimes get released.
 

The cycle continues until the Empath doesn't know who they are anymore, and feels extremely exhausted, self-critical and depressed from trying and failing with the Narcissist over and over again.
 

They feel exhausted and depressed from having to keep on the defense, while continuing to bypass and redirect their rage towards themselves in order to maintain connection and their identity as a non-violent, always perfectly accountable, healer.
 

The last thing they want to do is hurt their hyper-sensitive Narcissist, who will quickly use the Empath's outward expression of rage to show how damaged they have been by the Empath, and as evidence for the Empath being the true Narcissist.
 

The trick to an Empath actually overcoming this cycle and being strong enough to leave, and heal, is to actually re-identify themselves with and fully feel their rage, and accept that they in fact cause harm, and are also allowed to feel rage, and lose their composure and care. 
 

That, yes, it is ok to "bark and bite" back, and use unskillful or imperfect means in setting a rage motivated boundary.
  

It is ok to hurt the other's feelings, and even use blame, if the other is indeed already going to have their feelings hurt anyways. 

It is indeed ok to acknowledge in this rage the powerlessness around being repeatedly manipulated into performing empathy and care up against an impossible, double standard of composure for the Empath, while the Narcissist rarely holds themselves accountable.

That sometimes it is necessary to use aggression and force to get someone to finally back off, if they have felt entitled to your energy, time, and resources, and that this doesn't make someone Narcissistic, irresponsible, or entitled, but rather is evidence of self-love and dignity.  

So, for all of you Empath's out there struggling to be done with a Narcissist in your life, or feeling so heart-broken, depressed, and run into the ground by this person, I highly recommend you ACCESS YOUR RAGE.
 

Let yourself fully go there. Let yourself be "petty", so to speak. Let your hateful, darkness come out. I can guarantee that just as long as you have not stalked or physically or financially harmed the Narcissist, you are within your right, and you will finally overcome being hooked in.
 

When you embrace this "darkness", you will begin not to care about the Narcissist thinking you are messed up and bad.
 

The more you embrace being royally enraged, the less power the Narcissist has over you, because they cannot use your fear of your basic human nature, against you, to manipulate you, any longer.

And, even if you do at times go over board and are messy and hurtful, this is a VERY important part of the process of letting go of the strict integrity, over-accountability, and empathy policing you do to yourself as a means to redirect your rage inward.
 

This IS recovery, and it will allow you to be more empowered, whole, and more available to have boundaries, and be cared for, while also being a more genuine and effective healer and Empath.

I wish you the best in your path to liberation from the pain and trauma of being close to a Narcissist!

Source: medium.com/advice-for-an-empath-recovering-from-narcissistic-abuse-the-necessity-of-rage

Hazards of Being an Empath

You might consider yourself an empathic person, but there's a difference between having empathy and being an empath (a highly sensitive person who easily absorbs other people's feelings, energy and stress). "Having empathy means your heart goes out to another person who's experiencing joy or pain," explains Judith Orloff, MD, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and author of the book, The Empath's Survival Guide. By contrast, "Empaths actually feel other people's emotions and physical symptoms in their bodies, without the usual defenses most people have."
 

Do you know about the hazards of being an empath? What does research say?
 

One of the hazards of being an empath is that you sense more pain. In a study at the McGill Centre for Research on Pain at McGill University in Montreal, researchers found that when people with the highest empathy scores were exposed to a heat stimulus after watching someone else experience the same uncomfortable stimulus, the subjects experienced greater physical sensations of pain than those in the low empathy group. "Empaths feel things first, then they think [about them], which is the opposite of how most people function," Dr. Orloff says. "Empaths sense other people's emotions in our bodies without the usual filters; we can hear what they don't say."
 

An estimated one in five people is considered highly sensitive, and many of these folks are empaths, too. Yet, being an empath is not a diagnosis found in the DSM-5, the consummate guide to psychiatric disorders, so "it's often misdiagnosed as social anxiety," Dr. Orloff says. "There are empaths with social anxiety but social anxiety is more a result than a cause of symptoms. In empaths, the brain's mirror neuron system - a specialized group of cells that are responsible for compassion - are hyperactive.”
 

As a result of this neuronal hyperactivity, empaths absorb other people's feelings, energy and emotions into their own bodies. "It's a different wiring of the neurological system," Dr. Orloff says. Being an empath certainly has its benefits, including greater intuition, compassion, creativity and a deeper connection with other people.
 

But living in this state of high sensitivity also comes with its challenges, such as becoming easily overwhelmed, over-stimulated, or exhausted, or absorbing stress and negativity from others. Given these risks, it's not surprising that empaths are particularly vulnerable to developing depression, anxiety, emotional burnout and addictions.
 

Some empaths try to numb their sensitivities with alcohol, drugs, food, sex or shopping, Dr. Orloff notes. "It's very common - being an empath is often a missing piece to addictions." If you're an empath, one of the keys to protecting your physical and emotional well-being is to avoid absorbing other people's stress and negative energy excessively. There are many different strategies that can help in this respect, Dr. Orloff says. "Your best bet is to experiment and see which ones work best for you."

Empaths are highly sensitive individuals, who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling.
 

Psychologists may use the term empath to describe a person that experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of taking on the pain of others at their own expense. This particular article will focus on the psychological aspects of being an empath.
 

There are many benefits of being an empath. On the bright side, empaths tend to be excellent friends. They are superb listeners. They consistently show up for friends in times of need. They are big-hearted and generous. Empaths also tend to be highly intuitive and emotionally intelligent.
 

However, some of the very qualities that make empaths such fantastic friends can be hard on the empaths themselves. Because empaths quite literally feel what their friends are going through, they can become overwhelmed by painful emotions, such as anxiety or anger. 
 

Empaths have a tendency to take on the problems of others as their own. It is often difficult for them to set boundaries for themselves and say no, even when too much is being asked of them.
 

Additionally, it is common for empaths to feel drained after spending time around people. Empaths are usually introverts, and they require a certain amount of alone time in order to recharge. A study from 2011 suggests there may be a link between highly empathic individuals and social anxiety.

Recognizing that you're an empath is the first step in taking charge of your emotions instead of constantly drowning in them. Once you begin to understand your empathic nature, you can learn to take better care of yourself emotionally.

Handling Stressors: 

How to Manage Your Empathy Without Getting Drained

Set Healthy Boundaries

Being naturally caring and concerned for others, empaths have a hard time saying "no." This can lead to problems as you overcommit and drain yourself emotionally. Dr. Orloff suggests, "Control how much time you spend listening to stressful people, and learn to say 'no.' Set clear limits and boundaries with people, nicely cutting them off at the pass if they get critical or mean. Remember, 'no' is a complete sentence."
 

Practice Mindfulness

Because empaths tend to get caught up in what is going on around them, it is particularly important for them to set aside time to tune in. Practicing mindfulness can help you reconnect to yourself. Focusing on your breath, for insistence, quiets the mind and centers you in your body. It can be helpful in meditation to practice "non-identification" with others, try to see yourself and your emotions as separate from anyone else's.
 

Ignore Your Inner Critic

The Critical Inner Voice is like a nasty coach that lives inside our heads, waiting for any opportunity to criticize us. Empaths, being sensitive, are vulnerable to these self-critical thoughts. They may think things like, "Why do you feel so much all the time? What's wrong with you?" or "You're just too sensitive." However, it is important not to believe these self-attacks or act on your inner critic's bad advice.
 

Practice Self-Compassion

While it is easy for empaths to feel compassion for others, it is often difficult for them to feel compassion for themselves. Self-compassion is the simple (yet challenging) practice of treating yourself like a friend. It is called a practice because it is something that you get better at over time.
 

There are three components to practicing self-compassion:

# 1)  Acknowledge and notice your suffering.

# 2)  Be kind and caring in response to suffering.

# 3)  Remember that imperfection is part of the human experience and something we all share.
 

Spend Time in Nature

Nature has wonderful healing effects for all humans, but particularly for empaths. Essayist John Burroughs said, "I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order." Because empaths are highly sensitive to the people (as well as noises and environments) around them, time in nature is the optimal way for them to relax and recharge. Whether you live somewhere that allows you to walk on the beach, hike through the woods or sit in a park, it is important to make time to rejuvenate in a beautiful, natural setting, especially when you are feeling overwhelmed or emotionally depleted." 
 

At the end of the day, it is important to recognize both the blessings and challenges of being an empath. In a world where so many people struggle to identify and express emotions, empathy can seem like a gift. Embrace yours.

Learn to Set Boundaries

One of the hazards of being an empath is that other people will drain you. To combat this, limit the amount of time you spend with him or her or keep the length of the conversation to a minimum. Remember that "No" is a complete sentence, Dr. Orloff says. So don't be afraid to say, "I'm sorry but I don't have the time or energy to talk right now," or, "I'm not up for going out tonight; I'm too wiped out." By doing this, "you really protect your energy so you don't continue to give until you're worn out," Dr. Orloff says.
 

Question Your Emotions

Due to the hazards of being an empath, it is imperative that you question your emotions. When you feel a sudden shift in mood or the onset of emotional overload, ask yourself whether the new feeling is genuinely yours or rightfully belongs to a companion. "If you didn't feel anxious, depressed, or exhausted before, most likely the discomfort you're feeling now is at least partially coming from someone else," Dr. Orloff says. Recognizing this can help dissipate the feelings you absorb from other people - or prevent them from having as deep or draining an impact as they might otherwise have.
 

Plan Alone Time

"Empaths need to spend time alone to regroup and center themselves," Dr. Orloff says. The time can be spent sitting quietly. You can breathe slowly and deeply. You could practice meditating, or listening to soothing music. Keep in mind that immersing yourself in water - by taking an Epsom salt bath, sitting in a hot tub or going swimming can calm you physically and emotionally and help remove toxins from your body, Dr. Orloff says. With whatever solo activity you choose, the goal is to decrease external stimulation from other people and technology and reconnect with your inner sense of self.
 

Create Real or Imagined Distance

With people who regularly drain your energy, feel free to limit physical contact, Dr. Orloff suggests. "Energy is transferred through touch, so if you're wary of taking on another person's stress, you can choose to send them love from a physical distance." In other words, giving hugs, holding hands and engaging in other forms of touch is a choice, and it's your prerogative to step away from someone whose emotional energy is disturbing you.
 

Similarly, you can use your visualization powers to separate yourself from other people's toxic emotions, Dr. Orloff notes. For example, you might imagine an invisible shield going up around you that blocks other people's negative emotions. Alternatively, you could picture an elastic band extending from your torso to the other person's. Then, imagine cutting that band to prevent his or her anxiety or anger from becoming yours. In both instances, you'll remain physically present with the other person. However, you'll be taking care of your own emotional needs.

Sources: www.promisesbehavioralhealth.com/addiction-recovery-blog/the-hazards-of-being-an-empath/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empaths-survival-guide

Love for a HSP

If you're a highly sensitive person, you love connection. You love intimacy. You yearn for the closeness of deep, personal relationships. Finding one, and keeping one, however, is not so easy.
 

In a world where most people are looking for a fun-loving, easy-going relationship, HSPs can often find themselves on a search for something that seems to exist only in our minds. So is the kind of love we need possible? And how do we find it?
 

HSPs are often romantics, idealists and nurturers, all of which are great relationship qualities.

• We care deeply about people and we want to help. 

• We want to help others reach their potential and we want to be there to listen and offer our support. We're not expecting anything in return. 

• We do it because we can feel other people's feelings so intensely. 

• Our empathic nature means we put ourselves in other people's shoes all the time, usually without even realizing we're doing it.

Our natural empathy, warmth and compassion draws others to us. At the same time, we are drawn to them because we cannot ignore their feelings, or their cries for help. But that's where things can become challenging for HSPs. We are easily drawn to people with problems. And problem people are drawn to us.
 

For us, seeing someone who is struggling or sad, lonely or anxious is like watching someone writhing on the ground with a broken leg. We cannot walk away. Unfortunately, not all problems are that visible. Most people work really hard at concealing their own flaws and insecurities and it's not until you're in an emotional relationship with them that we realize just how real these problems are, or how damaging. But by then, we're involved.
 

We feel connected and our drive to help others keeps us hanging in there with the hope that things will change. In the meantime, we can find ourselves becoming exhausted and depleted. HSPs are caring, but vulnerable. We can lift people up with our giving natures, but they can quickly pull us down with their demands. Before you know it, you can feel overwhelmed and saturated.

What HSPs need to recognize is that despite our deep sensitivity, compassion and empathy, we cannot change other people. People have to help themselves. And we have to let them.
 

It's not your job to be a life preserver for someone who is drowning in the sea of life. It's your job to stay on solid ground, doing things that feed your sensitive soul. Then you can be there when someone finds their own way home.

So how do you find healthy relationships when you're drawn to unhealthy ones?
 

How do you say no to people who want to lean on you?
 

First, help yourself. 

HSPs are naturally caring and helping people. But you need to help yourself first. You need to put your needs first. While that may sound selfish, it's essential for your survival. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, depressed or upset, it's a cry for help from your sensitive self. And the only person who can take care of it is you. You need to remove yourself from stressful situations, give yourself space and quiet time and find a regular outlet for your creativity and your feelings.
 

Caring for yourself in this way will do two important things:
 

1.  It will boost your self-esteem because it makes you realise how important it is to take care of yourself, and how important you are. When you feel good about yourself, you will attract people who feel good about themselves too and have the ability to give back.
 

2.  It will keep you focused on your own needs, rather than someone else's, which will help to prevent you from being lured into people's problems and stop them from seeing you as a life preserver.
 

The more you understand yourself and what you need, the easier it will be to say no to what you don't need. And the more you say no to what's wrong, the more space you make for what's right. And that includes the right relationship.
 

You will be more likely to find the right partner if you do things you like to do because you will be happier. You may also need to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit and join a group or a class so that you can meet like-minded people. Sensitive people can often be found in places like book clubs, art classes, writing groups, local orchestras, or nature groups. 
 

HSPs can easily become locked in their own imagination and too fearful of the overstimulating outside world to engage with others. But you can have connection without being hurt. You can be part of a community without feeling overwhelmed. You just need to find the one that fits you, instead of trying to fit yourself into something that's not right.
 

As a highly sensitive person, you will always want to help people. Just make sure that your helping helps you too. Using your sensitivity to help others should make you feel bigger, braver, stronger, smarter, healthier. You should feel empowered and confident. If you feel weaker, smaller, more fearful, more confused or more exhausted, you're not helping - you're sacrificing. Save your empathy for people who really appreciate it and will be there for you too. Just because you're sensitive doesn't mean you should do all the giving.
 

These changes won't happen overnight. But noticing how you feel in any situation can make you more aware of your unconscious choices. And then you can decide what you want based on your own feelings, whether that means staying in or leaving a party, a job or a relationship.

Never mind what anyone else says. Just remember to stay onshore where you can keep your sensitivity safe and not get dragged out to sea.

Source:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201509/looking-love-hsp

Dating Precautions for Empaths

If you're an empath, you know what it feels like to feel everything and everyone. Empaths are like energy sponges. We pick up on the people and environments around us. Our compassionate, sensitive hearts, and well-tuned antennae can be a gift to us, and to those who get to be loved by us.
 

But, our sensitive sides can also get us into trouble in relationships if we lack awareness and the ability to manage our spidey-sense. Diving into relationships and the modern day dating world can lead an empath to a broken heart, or to the love of a lifetime.
 

The gift and the curse of a big heart.
 

Empaths have a knack for compassion. And I don't mean your everyday kindness to strangers. I mean, deep, loving acceptance and love for humans...even those who might seem hard to love to others.
 

We have big hearts. This can be a gift in dating because it opens us to many possibilities in partners. We can fall in love with many types of people. We can also create deep, loving, conscious relationships with a willing partner. This can make love easy, but it can also make love a danger zone if our compassion makes us ignore or minimize negative qualities in a partner that should be red flags not to be ignored. Why is this?
 

Empaths can be beacons for the broken.

Have you had a string of relationships with people who seem to need some healing or "fixing"? They might seem like they are empaths in hiding, who haven't realized they are empaths. Or they might just be struggling in life.
 

If you have a tendency to attract partners who haven't done their own healing work to deal with issues like addiction, abuse, or trauma, you might want to take a look at this pattern. You may have your own history with the same issues. Empaths often struggle with what could be identified as codependent behaviors, because of pain in their past, or because of their knack for compassion and care-taking.
 

On a spiritual level, empaths serve a purpose to help others heal. We can feel the pain in others and find it difficult to turn away from someone who needs healing or guidance. It is vital to gain awareness of this pattern, and to learn how to set boundaries in your relationships.
 

It's not to say that we don't offer some level of healing to each other in our relationships; however, if you see you have a pattern of giving more than you get, healing more than you're healed, or loving more than you're feeling loved, take note. Awareness and action to change this pattern will help you find a healthier and more balanced relationship.
 

If you feel you're here to bring healing to others, try harnessing that gift into a healing profession instead of offering it to your partners. Bottom line: you may be here to help heal the world, but you don't have to make it your mission to heal your partners.
 

Know your worth.

Many empaths struggle with anxiety and self-worth issues. We are highly sensitive and sometimes we misinterpret the heavy doses of information we receive from the world around us. We have a tendency to personalize the emotions and actions of others because we literally feel them within us.
 

Empaths are masters at self-sacrifice, and underneath that can be a belief system that tells us we are not good enough. Mix this with our ability to love and accept others with deep compassion, and we can easily get caught in a relationship with someone who validates our fears and insecurities. Recognize your worth, and seek out partners who recognize your worth.
 

You may know what's coming before your partner does.

As empaths, our intuition is constantly speaking to us. We often know what will happen in a relationship the moment we meet someone (but if we're not tuned in to our intuition, we may confuse wishful thinking with that true, gut level knowledge of truth).
 

If we sense something positive with a partner, we may feel excited, and allow ourselves to become too vulnerable, too fast. We may share too much, or move too fast in a relationship because we "know" something our partner doesn't know. But, if a partner doesn't share our empathic gifts, he or she may not be ready to move quite so fast, and may feel threatened by our deep dive into the relationship. Its best for us to learn to move slowly and allow our partners to fall into love with us at their own pace.
 

Likewise, also pay attention to those intuitive messages that warn you about a partner. How many times have you stayed in a relationship too long? Or you knew from the beginning that you shouldn't date someone but you did it anyway? Our egos and our desire to heal and love can sometimes overrule our uncanny knack for knowing what is best for us.
 

We can also sense when something is "off" with our partners. This can be anxiety-provoking for us, especially if we don't know what exactly is "off," or if your partner can't address it with us. Don't make assumptions based on what you're sensing. Instead, use good, clear communication with the intention of curiosity with your partner. Ask, explore, and express yourself. Don't ignore your gut, but remember that you may be ten steps ahead of your partner. Good communication is key.
 

Ground and protect yourself.

Before you go on any date, do some breathing and energetic protection exercises to help keep your boundaries strong. If you're not sure how to manage your empathic traits, there are plenty of resources on the internet or in books. It's also helpful to keep a journal of your ups and downs in any relationship, and to identify your intuitions. Over time, we tend to forget things, or we don't realize how much time can actually pass in an unhealthy relationship. You'll be able to look back and decipher patterns in you and your partner, instead of getting lost in the moment.
 

Dating as an empath can be a gift and a challenge. Understanding yourself better, and learning how to protect yourself in love can go a long way in helping you find a loving, healthy, conscious relationship.

Source:  https://www.meetmindful.com/what-every-empath-must-know-before-they-date/

For 'Empaths' and/or HSP:

For Narcissists: